It's the holiday season. I thought I was doing well then after a short discussion and an insensitive comment from someone I totally blew up. It's not like I thought I have been feeling fine but I did not realize I had this rage still in me. I've been feeling down and not well because of the holidays, they bring up a lot of grief. Lost to many people in too short of time, many people think I should be getting along by now, but I do struggle much more than people realize. It really bothers me when I blow up like I did, honestly it also feels kind of good because I feel like I have been able to unleash something. It just not the right way to do it. I'm so tired of filtering myself and watching myself so I dont say something about my grief, people dont want to hear it and I am just tired I think. After a blow up like that I fall into great despair. Dont want to do that either....................just tired of life.