Trying to cope

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by blackorchidx33, Jul 31, 2007.

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  1. I am 20 years old and I want my life to be over. I have a boyfriend, friends and good grades. But my past is not so peachy and glamorous. My ex has been emailing me. He was abusive. He would chain me up and rape me. He would hit me on more then one occasion but no one believed me because of how sweet he was to everyone else. He started emailing me. It is to hard to deal with and i started a fight with him. so tired.
  2. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    You have a good life now. Do NOT under any circumstances, let him back in. Delete your email account, change your what you have to do so you will not be tempted to engage him in even the simplest conversation. people have a morbid curiosity sometimes about their not indulge in it. Just cut him off without a word, and send your new email to the reat of your friends. You can get through this...don't let him bring you back to that place.
  3. Hi Honey, I'm home.

    Miss me yet!!!

    I hope to see you soon. I drive past your place hoping to see you there but you never are.

    p.s. Love the new car


    Dear rachel,

    I am so sorry for all I put you through. I went to Aubrey's grave the other day. Her parents haven't been there in a long time. It was a mess. I know you don't want to go back there but someone needs to clean it up and I can't handle that. I loved her, you knew that. We were so close when we were kids, I miss that. I am so sorry for hurting you. I remember all those nights (mostly one night comes to mind). Please don't hate me. I want to talk to you. Steve won't tell me anything and he yelled at me for that e-mail i sent you. He was right that sounded kind of stalkerish. I'm sorry rachel. You were the only one who ever cared about me. I want to know what you think? I want to be friends. Ask chad if its ok? Please, dont leave me alone. I wont hurt you anymore i promise. I really honestly need a friend right now. I need your help. rachel i am sorry. I am so sorry. please please please. I will understand if you have a problem with this but please dont tell steve i emailed you. He is still on your side, even though hes my brother. I want to call you but your number isnt working. I tried numerous times. Please call me. rachel i dont know what to do anymore. I am so lost. I just want our lives to get back to normal, for them to be the way they would of if Aubrey was still here. The other reason for my e-mail I found something you might like. Your box of stuff. Even your purple bear. you remember the one. I know she would want you to have it. I dont know why the box was in my attic. i want to give it back you. You deserve this stuff. Not me. She hated me. I read her letters. Why didnt you tell me the truth rachel? I deserved to know what happened. I deserved that much. Lieing is wrong and you should know that. She was carrying my child. and no one told me. Did her parents know? I know everything now. I didnt deserve that. You shouldnt have lied to me. No matter how scared you were or how big of a jerk i was i didnt deserve that. Aubrey was my love my soalmate and you didnt have the guts to tell me about her problems. God rachel, this was stuff i should of known. We need to talk, i need to know everything. I deserve that much. Please call me

    Luv u,

    -----Original Message-----
    Sent: Fri, 27 Jul 2007 2:21 pm

    Hey I am sorry but I cant help you. I dont want the box back you can keep it. The secrets you find were all Aubrey's i never told you because she was my best friend, you have to understand that. My life is going well right now and I dont want you in it. I just want you to leave me alone. Have a good life.


    From him to me

    You stupid bitch. i can't believe you would do that to her memory. She was better then that and you are going to let her go just like that. You are a stupid girl. i can't believe she ever cared about you. That box will be destroyed. You should be where she is. Aubrey didn't deserve to die. Does this mean you won't go clean her grave, i have to do it. Go figure. You used to be a good person. Wow have you changed. Good thing she is dead. She doesnt have to see this. You know i cant look at this. Don't apologize to me. i don't want your simpathy. i want my Aubrey back whatever you don't deserve to be my friend.

    -----Original Message-----
    Sent: Tue, 31 Jul 2007 10:25 am

    Ryan, What the hell is wrong with you? I dont what to see you. Do honestly not understand why? You raped and beat me for years. You think I want to see you. You are the biggest asshole I have ever met. Aubrey was my best friend. She hated you. She was going to break up with you before she died. She didnt want to be with you. She knew she deserved better. Anyone who dates you does. You are the stupid one. My life is hard enough. I gave up that life. I am moving on now. I dont do drugs anymore. I am not the girl you knew. I am going to college, I have friends that love me. I am no longer with Chad, because I didnt want that life. I know where my future is going. I refuse to let anyone hit me. I refuse to be abused. You in my life is too hard for many reasons. God why do you do that to me
    ? I dont want to talk to you. I dont want to be anywhere near you. Just leave me alone. You are not going to win this arguement. GO TO HELL!!

    His final email......

    lol, o strike a nerve did i. O please you asked for everything. You were the one that was dumb enough to stay. I never like you. I was with you because i was bored. You are so annoying. Always bubbly and happy even when there is nothing to be happy about. I knocked that out of u didn't i. lol You don't deserve anything. You are ugly and completely and totally incompatent. Any guy you end up with is just with you to pass the time. I remember our times together. Your room in the basement is still there. I know keep dogs chained there but i guess that would still be describing you, but my dog is prettyer. That box will be gone thats fine. Aubrey is dead to you once aagin. Wow you killed her twice. Congrats!!!!!! she would be so proud of you now. A whore and a dumbass. Come on every girl dreams of beign chained up like that. Look at the life you once lived you were nothing, you still are nothing. Why are you still alive? Seriiusly. Haven't you caught on no one loves you. Your own parents treated you like crap. I bet that hasn't changed. They see what i see. A stupid girl who is worth nothing. So even Chad saw what i saw. Well lucky him. And quite playing that stupid rape card. it was once maybe twice. I couldnt look at you anymore so it wasnt worth it. You were such a wimp. I have had girlfriends since and no one cried like you. WOW your pathetic. I will leave you alone now. but not becausee you deserve it ,but because i just realized how pathetic and annoying you were. If i ever see you again, you will regret it. I dare you to call my brother again. He thinks your as pathetic as i am. Say goodbye to Aubrey because you can't go there either. I will be watching. Good bye stupid slut have a good life.

    These are the emails------ What do I do?
  4. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    Do you want to press charges? Print them out, call your local rape crisis line and they can help you file a report and press charges if you want to.

    Otherwise, I would get as far away from this animal as you can. He is a rapist, stop communicating with him now.

    Get yourself some professional help as soon as you can, you have to talk to someone about how you are feeling about what he did to you. You can't keep this all inside, it will kill you. Don't let him win, if you kill yourself then he wins, and he is not worth it at all. You will get through this, I survived being raped, and so will you, healing is possible, and it does get better with time.

    You have to just focus on what you need right now in order to feel good about yourself again, and to feel whole. Forget about him, just put all your energy into yourself and find people that can help you heal from the trauma you have been through. You are worth it, don't ever forget that.

  5. JewAroundTheCorner

    JewAroundTheCorner New Member

    Here's what you do...

    Change everything..



    And if needed...LOCATION.
  6. daytona0

    daytona0 Active Member

    you could press charges on him, he has openly admitted to rape.

    though, please stay away from this guy! His spelling is awful, he's contradicting himself a lot, he has openly admitted to a serious crime in the email (which can rule out any exaggeration arguements on your part).

    i have to say, found it funny when he called you incompetent... oh the irony :laugh: (he spelt it wrong lol)

    you really do need to seek professional help :( The only way to get through this is like Jew said. Perhaps even by considering moving somewhere else.

    You have to recognise though that there is a huge difference between you and him, from his emails we can see that he is poorly educated, and many more implications can arise from that. You have good grades, you have good career prospects, you have friends and you have a boyfriend (who i assume is caring).

    by doing anything rash you would be losing your whole present and future for the sake of your past.
  7. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    What a motherfucking fuckhead worthless piece of dog shit. Print the emails and PRESS CHARGES! He WILL do this to someone else. I am so fucking pissed off just reading this I cannot imagine how you feel. ^ is right. Change your personal addys and #'s and go straight to the cops. This "man" is a fucking animal and deserves to be in jail for the rest of his life and you have the info that could put him behind bars for a VERY long time. Fucking asshole rapist piece of trash. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
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