Well hi everyone, I haven't posted on here for a while - I don't think anyone here knows me anyway. I was 18 a few days ago and It's hit me that I have nothing to show for it and how no one is proud of me. I left school at 16 and did really bad in my grades, I found a job after a few months of looking, the job was being a cleaner in a hotel, mainly kitchens - I left this job after about 5 months because I was getting abused and called so many names under the sun, it was killing me (I was cutting). After a few weeks of looking I found a job that was in a farm a few miles away, this farm was a tourist attraction and had fast food places, I was one of the cooks. This job was even worst than the last, I was under stress 24/7 working long hours for a single 20 minute break. The job finally finished at the end of december. I was offerd to work at the weekends or some odd days in the week with another part, I got on well with the bosses and enjoyed the work so I accepted. Now they think I have another job or go to college I'm not sure, I can't ask them for a refferance because of this. Now I struggle with money and travel so I walk 3 miles there and back a few times a week. Since January I havent been able to find a full time job and it's not looking any better, I live in a small village - 11 miles away from the nearest town, I can't drive and the buses go like every 2-3 hours. I have one younger brother who makes my life hell, he never listens, screams, steals my things and wakes me up in the middle of the night. He gets away with it because hes the special child. 5 years ago my mother married some old fashioned stuck up idiot and since then my life has gone down hill. He is the reason I didnt go to college because I had to work and pay my way, even though I would get money from college and would've given them it (I don't mind paying my way, I'm not saying its a bad thing). All I seem to do now a days is go to bed in the early hours of the morning, wake up late, do some house chores to keep my parents quiet then either watch tv or go on the pc. I still look for a job but all the shops/companies in the village and town have about 5 of my application forms each, I'm in still getting e-mails from the job center but I never get any replies. As you can tell I pretty much hate myself and my life but I havent told you what gets to me alot, I'm overweight and lack so much confidence, I've lost nearly all my friends - I have one left who gets on the bus with me and goes to the jobcenter to collect his money, he doesnt talk much and doesnt want to do anything so I've probabaly lost him aswell. <Mod Edit:IrishDoll,Methods> - I'd appreciate if you could post some helpfull info not just edit out things like this is a job.