Trying to examine this logically...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by RossInZona, Jan 20, 2012.

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  1. RossInZona

    RossInZona Active Member

    Even if I don't take my own life, I still have to consider that, someday, I will die. There is nothing that can be done to prevent that eventuality. We all eventually die. Our bodies are doomed to give out someday and cease to function. I don't believe in any afterlife either, so once we're dead, it's all over. I expect to have absolutely no consciousness, no awareness - nothing. Just as I had no consciousness or awareness before I was born.

    I can actually accept this idea. No heaven or hell. No reward for living a good life, nor any punishment for living a bad life. Everybody, no matter who they are, ends up going to the same place in the end: Oblivion. To believe otherwise would be illogical, since there is no scientific evidence to prove the existence of any kind of "afterlife" (ghost stories and fairy tales notwithstanding).

    I am 48 years old. Considering that average male life expectancy is 75.6 years in the United States (, this would mean that I have 27.6 years left on this Earth. In my case, it would probably be less, since I'm a smoker and single.

    So, in other words, approximately 2/3 of my life is already over. Based on what I have experienced in the previous 48 years, I see no particular reason why things will ever change in my life. I don't see how I can be of any productive use for society in the years to come. I don't see how I will ever find anything fulfilling or gratifying in life.

    I suppose it might be different if I had children, grandchildren or some kind of wealthy retirement to look forward to, but it's too late for me.

    I can feel the signs of age creeping up. My teeth are rotting, but I can't afford to get them fixed. Aches and pains over exerting myself - something that I never had to worry about before. It's all downhill from here. There is absolutely nothing in my life to look forward to, even if I decide to continue living it.

    There is no help for me. I've never asked for help from the government before, and I'm not about to start now. I would be doing my country a favor if I ended my life now, because I would be saving the taxpayers money.

    From that standpoint, it would be my civic duty to commit suicide.

    The economy is in a shambles. All I would be doing is taking up space and/or taking a job that someone else might need. In the meantime, my body will start to fail more and more. I'll be more and more dependent on whatever marginal healthcare is available, even if I do happen to be lucky enough to get health insurance where the premiums won't put me deeper in the hole.

    I will not be dependent upon others. I've always had to rely upon myself, because there was never anyone else to help. But I can see that, in the years to come, my ability to rely upon myself will be diminished. The best case scenario, if I choose to go on living, will be a broken, destitute, and forgotten man, languishing in some nursing home or other such institution. "Warehoused" as nothing more than a testament to this country's fervent commitment to the "value of human life." That's a lie. I've seen these places. That's no kind of life for anyone.

    What is the point of going through all these extra years of pain and misery when the end is going to be the same no matter what? Where is the logic to doing something like that?

    In 100 years, is it really going to matter that much?
  2. Tia

    Tia Well-Known Member


    I see your point, really, I do. But I do disagree a little, you are not helping others by killing yourself. You are needed here on earth... earth would not be the same without you. each person has something to contribute to the earth and the are looking ahead too far, when you do that, you become blinded... take each day as it comes miracles do happen no matter how small...people live to tell the story... when things get so bad they can only get better from here. you are needed here on earth and have more to do here, otherwise you wouldn't be here. you are a good person and no matter how old you may be, (you're actually quite young) no matter your age, you have life ahead of you and endless opportunities. it's not time for you to give up now.. you have made it through this far, there's no point in climbing up that steep mountain to jump off it. you are almost at the top. once you have spent so much time and hard work reaching the top, what's the point in quitting?. you are nearly there. once you are at the top, you will be able to look down at the beautiful view, you will see people still struggling to reach the top of the mountain..but you will have hope in your heart..because you will know, they too,, will make it to the top. you are here for a reason and your life is too precious to take. blessings
  3. sihuskyzoi

    sihuskyzoi Well-Known Member

    I wish I were in a more positive place and could offer all the typical phrases for why you should stuck it out, but you're mimicking the very phrases my head is saying. Let me know if you find a reason to look forward with any sense of excitement or joy. And I will let you know if I do. Until then, know you are not alone.
  4. RossInZona

    RossInZona Active Member

    Thanks, Tia. I can see what you're saying, and I appreciate your kind thoughts.

    However, I still struggle to figure out just what in the heck that reason could be.

    I don't believe in God, so I also struggle to find out whose reason would I be here for. It's certainly not my parents' reason, and they're the ones primarily responsible for my presence on this Earth.

    I'm probably more agnostic than atheist, and for a while, I was playing Pascal's wager - believing in God "just in case." But as far as I'm concerned, if God exists, He has had plenty of opportunities to give me a purpose and make His plans unfold for me. Either God is some kind of cruel sadist out to just play games with people's souls (if the Book of Job is anything to go by)...or He just doesn't exist - at least not in the form that organized religion would portray Him.

    I actually find it's easier to make peace with the universe by not believing in God. If I believed that there was a God who was intelligent, sentient, and all-powerful, then I would be even more pissed off.

    If I believe that life is just a random series of scientific phenomena without any rhyme or reason, it would actually make much more sense to me. It wouldn't necessarily change my life, but it would help me to face death much more easily.
  5. RossInZona

    RossInZona Active Member

    Thanks, sihuskyzoi. I'll probably stick it out for a little while longer to see if anything happens, but to be honest, time is running out for me. I don't have much energy or patience left. I'm tired of waiting for some "miracle" that will never happen. I'm tired of struggling to find some reason for existence. Being a vulture's next meal might just as good a reason as any.

    I know I'm not alone. This forum helps me to understand that. I see that a lot of people here are in similar situations - some much worse than what I'm facing now. I feel for a lot of the people here. I wish there was something I could do, but it just makes me feel all the more powerless and frustrated that there's nothing I can do to help anyone. I can't even help myself.
  6. thingsaregonnachange

    thingsaregonnachange Well-Known Member

    I feel exactly the same thing. The idea that an intelligent omniscient creator would allow all the misery and injustice that goes on in this planet to happen is far more terrifying than a Godless, indifferent universe.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 21, 2012
  7. BrinkOfExistence

    BrinkOfExistence Well-Known Member

    A 'god' wouldn't human so perhaps it doesn't understand the concept of misery and injustice, to this 'god' it's part of life, part of evolution for a species known as humans, humans are the only species on this planet that experience misery and injustice or maybe humans are just far too insignificant to this 'god' for it to bother with us maybe there's more pressing issues going on in the universe that needs it's attention.
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