I realized that if I'm around people who are relatively normal, I will bring them down with my problems. If I'm around people with problems, I'll bring them down even more. I've had some people tell me I've helped them greatly, even told that I stopped them from suicide, and I was glad to be able to help them. However, when the tables are turned, no one is there for me. In fact, I'm starting to feel like a bad person. It seems like people adore me at the beginning, then end up avoiding me completely, which I don't understand at all. I don't lie, I don't steal from anyone, I don't talk shit and I'm not a bad friend. Yet, people avoid me like the plague. So I've come to the conclusion that I must be a bad person, even though I don't know what I'm doing to drive people away. They probably just stay until they see how crazy I am, then they just flee. But I wish someone would really get to know me, and realize I'm not a bad person. I even asked some friends why they don't talk to me anymore...I either got ignored, or they laughed it off and said nothing has changed. Clearly it has, if they used to love talking to me and being around me, now act like I don't exist. Maybe they are sick of trying to help when I'll never get better. I don't want to bring them down if they are doing well. I'm sick of ending up completely alone, but I don't want to hurt anyone else. So I guess I have to hurt myself by isolating myself and probably worse. Then I won't have to worry about a damn thing anymore.