Trying to find reason to fight...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by randomguy9, Jun 18, 2012.

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  1. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity

    Well a few things have become painfully clear... going to elementary school with the reincarnation of hitler turning everyone against me, followed by falling into a cult in my early adult life... the two things have destroyed my coping skills. I can't deal with rejection... This has crippled me. I can't look for a job because I know they are going to ask for expierence when I have none... Not a fucking thing I have done in my adult life is transferable to any entry level job... and health issues keep me out of the typical entry level jobs.

    I am trying to find reasons to keep trying... but it is fucking pointless...

    The only two things I life I have to look forward two are a trip to visit my family and the start of football season... but the latter tends to end in dissapointment because my team finds a way to suck every fucking year no matter how blessed the men on the team are with tallent... IDK if that is enough.

    I probably will make it until the trip starts... but after that I see no reason to fight a loseing battle anymore.

    I was genetically damned to fail... I am not good at anything and I can only think of 2 things in life that were not failures...

    I am trying to fight on... but my love for family is overshadowed by anger at their blindness to the truth...

    The visit to see the other side of the fmaily... one last time is keeping me going but... IDK everytime i think of that trip I am thinking of a finality.... a one more thing before I die trip.... as afterword there will be nothing to live for.
  2. Sea Sparkles

    Sea Sparkles Well-Known Member

    Hey hun.

    There are sooo many reasons to keep going....

    I know the feeling of not being able to deal with rejection... it's painful. I understand that, a lot... My therapist showed me ways to deal with rejection (possibly you should seek to see one?). They really do help, I promise!!!

    As for the job, situation, are you in the states??? If so look under your local welfare office, and look up what ever state you are in... "___ Works" It's a government funded program to help people get work who have no real work record.... They have helped A LOT of people.

    Think of this, as a last trip of you bringing depressed, and after you finding resources to bring you out of it, you'll finally be happy when you see your family the next time.

    Things do get better.
    Stay strong

    Be safe-

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