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Trying to get out of this darkness

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sadhart, Mar 3, 2018.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    So I found a job and have been working for almost two weeks now. It's kind of stressful, but I don't want to quit it as I did the other couple of jobs I had. I've also been able to avoid drinking for almost two weeks now. To be honest, it's hard as I relied on alcohol during these painful months of deep depression to numb the pain, but I want to try not to depend on it. I ad three years of sobriety at one point...I'm not sure if I can do that again, but I would like to stay sober for as long as I possibly can.

    Also, I like this girl. I mentioned her in my previous thread. I guess she likes me too, but there is fear of rejection as this is something that has happened to me on numerous occasions over the years. I find myself saying sorry to her a lot. Like sorry for texting her or bothering her. I don't mean to sound so insecure or pathetic, but it's hard not to feel cautious.

    Anyway, I'm not sure if this made any sense. I still feel depressed and unsure, but just not as deep as I had for the past several months. I just want things to work out for the good, but I'm not sure if that can happen. Sorry for rambling.
     
  2. Women like confidence. You're not going to win her over by saying "sorry for bothering you." If you're not confident, we sense it and avoid it.
     
  3. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Wow, thanks. What you said now makes me feel that more self conscious. I mostly say that out of consideration for what it's worth Just so you know, it's not easy being a man. We're human just like a woman is in case you didn't know. I made a mistake opening up on here.
     
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2018
  4. Mercedesgirl

    Mercedesgirl Well-Known Member

    I can relate sad hart to what you say. I'm always saying sorry and people have said to me that confidence is an attraction, but I'm not confident and when people say that it makes me more conscious of it too.

    You will be cautious if you've been hurt before, it's like a safety blanket to protect you. I hope things work out for you how you want, and I'm here if you want to talk more, take care
     
    sadhart likes this.
  5. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member


    Thank you, I appreciate what you said.
     
  6. I apologize. I didn't mean to sound insensitive. I should have phrased what I said differently. You have an advantage over a lot of men, in a sense, by allowing yourself to be sensitive and vulnerable. This is a good thing. But ironically, the qualities we tend to appreciate later on aren't the same ones many of us appreciate initially. I didn't mean that you lacking confidence means there's no hope or anything like that. You said, "I guess she likes me too" in your original post, so take that and run with it. If she already likes you, take it as an ego boost (because obviously she likes you for a reason) and allow it to help you show some more confidence when speaking to her.
     
  7. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry I took what you said the wrong way. I'll try to keep what you said in mind the next time I talk to her. Thank you.
     
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