Right now I feel like I haven't got the strength to keep going on and I don't know who to talk to... I'm a Spanish 24-years-old guy who has recently got his MsC in Industrial Engineering and is about to get a MsC in Electronical Engineering (the only part being left is my thesis). The funny part of all of this is that I decided to study both of them at the same time for everybody kept telling me that in such a way I would be able to find a good job in no time. Well, I've done a handful of interviews and the result is always the same: the job is either poorly paid and requires a lot of hours or I don't get called back whatsoever. This is really hurting my self-esteem. If it had been for me, I would only have studied the Electronics MsC, but my parents insisted on me studying both (here, in Spain Industrial Engineering is really well-considered).I accepted to do so, even if it meant that these 3 last years of my life have been really miserable. I´ve been working hard for something I didn't really like or care. The pain this situation was causing me made me try to commit a suicide attempt about two months ago. I was so devastated that I decided that I was gonna jump into the river that crosses my city. Because I didn't have the courage to do so I started to drink heavily one Monday afternoon. I thought that in that way I would be able to do so. The result was, that I ended in the Hospital with an alcohol poisoning. Without any doubt it was one of the worst moments in my life and made me feel like scum and totally embarrased. After this episode I happened to meet a charming guy (yes, I'm gay) and suddenly everything seemed to run smoothly. He's a exchange student, spending one year in mi city. We got on really well from the very beginning and he kept telling me how much he liked and how important I was becoming for him. He was far from his family and friends and said that for him, meeting me had been a great relief. He even asked me, never to leave him. I never told him anything about my problems and just let the things go at their own pace. Well, all of a sudden he stopped to send me messages or answer mine. I knew something was fishy, so I asked him about it. He told me he liked me very much but didn't want anyhting serious with me. That same day he started to upload photos with another guy from my city. We talked a little bit more, he kept saying he wanted to see me again but he always found excuses never to do so. He finally has disappeared from my life... This is really devastating, all my life my romantic relationships have been a mess (this last one being the most hurtful) and I seem to have no prospect of finding a good job. Furthermore, I'v been trying to talk with my parents during these last years to try and get some professional help for my issues but they just won't help me finding it. All they say is that I hate them and I act like if I was depressed to hurt them and that makes me feel even worse. I have friends with whom I hang out but there really isn't a deep connection. My best friend is working abroad and I don't wanna make her worry with my stuff so I feel more or less quite lonely... This afternoon,I've taken the decission. If I can't find happiness, I don't wanna live at all. I've writen down two notes. One for my parents, explaining everything I feel and why I'm doing it and the other one for my best friend, apologizing for not saying goodbye properly. Somehow, It felt like a great relief when I wrote down my farewell to them. Now, that I no longer feel the pressure of living an unhappy existence I'm concentrated on finding the way and moment to put an end to my misery.