My husband filed for divorce in September, and I moved out in November of last year. I did OK until last Thursday, which was my wedding anniversary (32nd). He sent me this message telling me that a 30 year old had asked him out (we're both 52). Since that time I have been in a tailspin. I've been suicidal in the past, but have been able to resist impulses. I can't stop crying and I keep looking up ways online to kill myself, trying to figure out which way would be effective but not too painful. The pain is so bad I can't stand it. I have 3 kids and until now they have been enough to keep me from harming myself but this past weekend it's about all I can think of. My jerk of a husband, when he saw how upset I was over it, accused me of wanting attention. I'm already on antidepressants, which helped until last Thursday. Now it's like I'm not on any meds at all. I don't want to be alone the rest of my life.