Trying to hold on - don't want to go to hospital

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by inkspring, May 5, 2014.

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  1. inkspring

    inkspring Well-Known Member

    I want this emotional pain to end. I'm bipolar in a mixed episode--depressed and irritable with anxiety. Plus we're in the process of having our master bath remodeled, tearing it up and redoing it--lots of strange people in and out. My sense of safety and stability is important to my remaining stable and its in the trash right now. When I am very depressed or in a mixed episode I have suicidal thoughts. Add to that anxiety and or lack of stability and suicide becomes a really strong thought or desire. I am managing right now, although torn apart inside. My adult son is visiting us today--leaving tomorrow. Company coming for dinner tomorrow evening. I'm hanging in there but I'm so frazzled inside. I just need to vent to someone who understands. I always fulfill my commitments so I know i'll get through tomorrow evening. After that, if I can't manage the suicidal thoughts and feelings, I might have hubby take me to the hospital 30+ miles away. I don't want to go but if I can't trust myself, what else can I do? Thanks for listening.
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I know what you are going through. I hated having bipolar episodes. So much instability. After what I call a freak out; I was okay for a little while until the next one. Do what you feel like you must. You know yourself better than anyone else. You have my thoughts and prayers.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hear you and i do hope that you are able to find a quiet space for awhile just to feel some kind of security within you. Talk to your hsb ok let him know how you are feeling and if it comes to going to hospital then do it ok Your hsb will understand hugs
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