I don't know how much longer I can keep trying to just survive. I have been treated for PTSD symptoms, anorexia and depression for 15 years now but the depression just won't let go. I am sinking down to a point where I have little control over my actions and I might not be able to stop myself from attempting suicide. It's been 13 years since my last attempt and even though I have thought about suicide as an option a few times since then, I have been able to put the idea on hold and give things a chance to improve. Well, I have been in this mode for at least 6 months now and I don't know how much longer I can stall. I thought I would be feeling a little better by now but I continue to get worse. I have 2 teenage sons who really don't need me to take care of them much anymore but we are close...they are my only reason to fight. I don't think my husband would care if I died as long as he got my life insurance money. I have been avoiding my psych for the past month because I don't have the energy to deal with this anymore. Now I just found out that my insurance denied my med refill so what little help I got from it to just get out of bed and go to work each day is gone. Just another sign that I am worthless.