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Trying to move on

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by SaraSoder, Dec 11, 2017.

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  1. SaraSoder

    SaraSoder Member

    Hey, this is not easy to write down. But I come to the realisation that it could help a bit.
    When I have none in my life who could help.
    Something happened when I was 7. And I just can't move on from it... I don't know how to do it. Kinda tired of trying to forget.
    Even lost people in my life because of my behaviour/mood.
    Well, I got sexually abused as child, from a family member and also his friend from different occasions.

    Maybe someone knows how it feels, even after so many years still being affected. And the anger you feel towards them because you scared they will do this to others.
    I'm in a lot of frustration today.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi @SaraSoder I do understand. Have you ever heard of Post Traumatic Stress disorder? That is what this sounds like, I know because I have it, I was raped as a child and while I do still suffer at times, counseling has helped, do you feel you would ever be able to receive counseling? I think you probably need to, to move on from this dark stage in your life. Your life matters and I hope those evil scum who did this to you are feeling guilty ashamed and ugh can't write what I wan but you can imagine :) I hope their life is hell basically. No child deserves to go through what you went through. Did you get justice or ever report it? Please tell us more, I feel I could help you Sarah! Good luck and I hope the thoughts ease, thinking of you.
     
  3. SaraSoder

    SaraSoder Member

    Thanks!
    I did report this, but not until a few years later because I was too scared.. I went to the police and it was kinda a investigation but it ended up being not enough evidence so they're free and well. That broke me too. Because my mother knew about this but did nothing about it... I tried talking to therapist but I think it's not helping. I feel as bad as when I came there as when I left.
    Hopefully here it can get easier, and not feeling so alone
     
  4. pam4him

    pam4him Active Member

    I, too, know those feelings from childhood sexual abuse. Mine was two family members but I only reported one. Very few people know about the second one. What has helped me the most is staying in therapy. It pulled out more feelings but I was able to work through them safely. Please hang in there and continue working through this. It can be worth reaching that realization and acceptance that what happened is part of you but does not have to rule your life. Hopefully one day you can share your story with another who will need your encouragement. Stay strong and take care.
     
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