Hi, This is my first post here, I am just trying to find somewhere to go that I can write things out to people who can relate to how I feel. I am 21 and I am about to graduate college. My Dad took his own life 2 years ago and ever since then I have been going downhill. He was an alcoholic and I never really got the chance to make peace with him before he left and he didn't leave any sort of note, which has been one of the hardest parts. I met a girl who helped me through this tough time and we started dating. A few months ago she cheated on me with my friend and roommate. I took her back. I knew that if I didn't I would be even more alone than I felt. I guess that all my other friends decided that my roommate was worth keeping around more than me, so I lost contact with them (they moved into a house without me) and with almost everyone I have met in college. I have a few good friends but I try to hide how I really feel because I just feel worthless and insane. I should note that I am not a very social person and I have trouble meeting new people. I am really lost and alone. I feel like everyone leaves me eventually. The only reason I haven't taken my life is because even though I'd be dead, I can't do that to my family, they have been through enough. But I think about doing it every day. I wish the best to everyone out there struggling with being happy like me.