Trying to resist SH urges and really failing

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by FrainBart, Nov 26, 2012.

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  1. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    I've been having bad urges again, and today I have tried distracting myself, I tried making biscuits for my daughter. But after seriously fecking up, realising that the urges were still there, and had the thing I needed just right there in front of me..and I just want to do it.
    I keep seeing myself doing it over and over in my head, and it just feels like it wants me to do it
    After accidently burning myself whilst cooking yesterday, the urge to do it again, and again... is getting worse and I dont want to keep this habit I want it to stop. I feel fucking useless. I have tried so many ways of distracting myself, and yet nothings working, does anyone have other ideas to reduce the urges
     
  2. lakenb

    lakenb Active Member

    the urge wont go away, but try to confront the urges, why do you feel like you have to SH? the answer may not be pretty or you may not know it. but just try to confront it.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Do the opposite of what your urges are wanting ok instead of sh you do something that brings you compassion and peace You go for a walk with your daughter you call someone and get away from environment you are in You do something that will bring you joy ok spend time with your daughter making Christmas decorations hugs to you
     
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I find that when I have an impulse to hurt myself, it comes from unexpressed feelings...is there someone you can talk to about what is going on? I am just a PM away so please let me know
     
  5. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    There is so much going on in my head right now. I can't make head or tails of anything. I felt guilty that I caught myself a few extra hours sleep this morning, whilst my ex looked after daughter... And in that time she hurt herself, I'm angry with myself for going out and having a few drinks with a friend... I don't deserve to have time out with friends, my daughter should always come first. I feel like I.need to punish myself for having a day to myself, and for having a lie in this morning. The urges are still here, and getting stronger.
    I just want to give in to them... Before I do something more regrettable... I can't keep living like I am. Especially when its just me and my daughter. If I can't cope now... It's not a life she should have to be subjected to.
     
  6. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    If it's a crime for a parent to have time for themselves, then my son's mum is guilty of that. She did most weekends have time to herself, and I had him overnight.

    If it's a crime for a parent to get a lie-in - then I'm guilty of that - I've been known to wake up at 10:30am when having my son overnight, and he'd been happily playing in his cot for a fair while.

    You do not need to punish yourself in any way - for having time for yourself (and I daresay your ex has a lot more time for himself than he spends being 'daddy'), so why are you not allowed to have 8-10 hours yourself in one day? - or for having a lie-in (you don't sleep as much as he does, and he gets tired doing nothing to the point he occasionally sleeps during the day? )
     
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