tuesday again...
- Thread starter ame solitaire
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Then dont hold on to your misery and make it your own. Keep posting and sharing it with others here. Trust me there are plenty of strong shoulders and ears that will listen and try to help you through the tough spots hun. You truly arent alone many here share your pain and demons. Let someone in and dont fight it all alone.
Its hard as Ive promised the other party that I wont discuss "our" business with anyone.
Basically 3 weeks ago my partner of 2yrs dumped me.It broke me.However we have stayed in close contact by phone ,the plan being to work at being close friends and "maybe" in the future get back together.
She phones me Fri/sat/sun/mon.The rest of the week there is little or no contact.If I text her-it ends in a row.
Everything is very one way-She rings/texts when she wants.But if I do-its "pushing" her.
I get nothing from her.But I love her and she says she still loves me-so I keep hanging on.
Its like a power trip for her-she knows how much I love her/want to hear from her-but witholds it.I get upset,she says its pressure.
But then she rings 4 times a week-so she must be interested?I dont know anymore.
Basically 3 weeks ago my partner of 2yrs dumped me.It broke me.However we have stayed in close contact by phone ,the plan being to work at being close friends and "maybe" in the future get back together.
She phones me Fri/sat/sun/mon.The rest of the week there is little or no contact.If I text her-it ends in a row.
Everything is very one way-She rings/texts when she wants.But if I do-its "pushing" her.
I get nothing from her.But I love her and she says she still loves me-so I keep hanging on.
Its like a power trip for her-she knows how much I love her/want to hear from her-but witholds it.I get upset,she says its pressure.
But then she rings 4 times a week-so she must be interested?I dont know anymore.
Oh dear, I can see why that would be so hard. It must also mess with your head.
It sounds like you already know that what is happening is not ideal because you have identified that it's all on her terms.
I wonder if she is playing you, and using you, because she knows you still love her, and is maybe using that vulnerability against you.
As I see it, if she was interested, and genuinely cared, then she would want to hear from you too, and it wouldn't just all be in her control. It sounds very toxic and actually like it is a very harmful relationship for you. It sounds like she makes you feel worthless and bad about yourself because of what she says when you call, but also how often she calls and then doesn't call.
I wonder if maybe cutting contact completely for a while might be a positive step? I say that because it would allow you to get out of this vicious cycle of her being in control. She is effectively controlling your moods and how your week is, by when she contacts you. Maybe cutting contact might help you take back the control and get your life together a bit more, so that you can then decide if you want to talk to her.
It can be REALLY hard when you love someone to actually see, or face up to, what's happening, and so I really do feel for you.
Let me ask you this though, if she really loved you, would she treat you so badly? Would you treat someone you loved in this way? If not, what would you do differently, and why do you think that's not happening here?
It sounds like you already know that what is happening is not ideal because you have identified that it's all on her terms.
I wonder if she is playing you, and using you, because she knows you still love her, and is maybe using that vulnerability against you.
As I see it, if she was interested, and genuinely cared, then she would want to hear from you too, and it wouldn't just all be in her control. It sounds very toxic and actually like it is a very harmful relationship for you. It sounds like she makes you feel worthless and bad about yourself because of what she says when you call, but also how often she calls and then doesn't call.
I wonder if maybe cutting contact completely for a while might be a positive step? I say that because it would allow you to get out of this vicious cycle of her being in control. She is effectively controlling your moods and how your week is, by when she contacts you. Maybe cutting contact might help you take back the control and get your life together a bit more, so that you can then decide if you want to talk to her.
It can be REALLY hard when you love someone to actually see, or face up to, what's happening, and so I really do feel for you.
Let me ask you this though, if she really loved you, would she treat you so badly? Would you treat someone you loved in this way? If not, what would you do differently, and why do you think that's not happening here?
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