Turn back the Sun

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Kimberley Michelle, Jul 29, 2008.

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  1. it all feels like a rollercoaster that i've been on a thousand times.
    the same highs, the same lows, the same twists and turns.
    people say that they'll be there to support me and that
    i'll always have a friend in them and then they leave me to fend for myself,
    during desperate times, when all i can think of are desperate measures.
    faith? hope? that has never existed in my world at any point, and
    i have no clue as to why, it is an acute downward spiral, that i'm experiencing. i have no support, nothing to hold onto or for.
    everyday i sift in and out of a shallow blur, breathing without a purpose,
    walking without reason, running without something to chase.
    it is all worthless, annoying and simply living takes the wind out of me.
    ones have said that i should "hang in there" but why? why should i?
    why should any of us? why should we? i want an answer, i need an answer.
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Hang in there because your life is still in your hands and because the future is un-written.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Have you checked out some of the groups around your town. It might give you some positive feed back. Not necessarily something on suicide. Try and find something that has nothing to do with mental health. Who knows you might learn a new trade. Stay Safe!!!!
  4. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    You're going through a terrible time, maybe it's always been like this, or this depression has only come on recently. But depression is so something that can be greatly relieved or even totally cured. There's people on this forum who have recovered. It's a terrible illness because one of it's symptons is making you feel like there's no hope of ever getting better. It's hard to imagine not feeling this way.
    I understand when you say you're always on the 'same rollercoaster'. I feel that way as well. Whenever I find someone who I really like, they always seem to leave. But I guess I am living on a dream, a hope that I can escape this cycle. I'm sorry that you feel so terribly hopeless. But this is depression. Even if you've always felt like this, it's possible that some chemical imbalance or life circumstances have led you to a kind of lifelong depression. I hope you can get help for this.
    I can't answer that last question for you because you're different from me and I don't know you. You've just got to search for that answer yourself. It might not seem like it right now but life is precious, even for that one moment of joy expierienced, whatever it is.
    But please, (I feel like a hypocrite because often I feel hopeless) try and imagine a future where you will find someone to love you and stay with you, or accomplish whatever dream you have. Even if you feel there's no way it'll ever happen, just try and keep that thought inside of you. Because, often if you look at your own life, it all gets distorted by your own fears/insecurities/past let downs whatever, but maybe if someone else looked at your life they'd see it differently.
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