Turned down because of BP

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by ExtreemWays, Aug 19, 2011.

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  1. ExtreemWays

    ExtreemWays Active Member


    I've had a heck of a time finding a new place to live.

    I've had 4 landlords turn me down because I have the bipolar disorder. To be more specific, 2 landlords explicitly said that they didn't want someone with BP living at their place. The other two I strongly suspect that they turned me down for the same reason.

    I realize that there are laws about all this and it's discrimination and all that stuff, but where does that leave me? I mean, taking someone to court is really a joke. Even if I won, would I really want to live at that place?

    The landlord always asks whether I'm working or not. I have to say no and that I am on disability. Once that is said, the lights in their eyes go out. I can tell they are not interested.

    I'm viewing a place tomorrow. I've been trying to figure out some way I can answer his questions with out revealing too much, but I can't think of any. Maybe my luck will change.

    Has anyone out there ever had problems like this? If so, how did you get around it?

  2. damage.case

    damage.case Well-Known Member

    How are they finding out you're bipolar?
  3. ExtreemWays

    ExtreemWays Active Member

    Well, they ask. They ask what my disability is. I don't know what else to say except to answer their question.

  4. Anneinside

    Anneinside Well-Known Member

    How about I have depressive episodes. Not a lie but depression is more "acceptable".
  5. Amberrr

    Amberrr Well-Known Member

    I had the same problem when I was looking for an apartment a few months ago.
    I looked at 6 apartments and 3 of the landlords rejected me because I'm bipolar. One of them even told me I couldn't live there because he didn't want me "disturbing the other residents." The nerve!

    Really all I can tell you is keep looking. Lame advice, I know. That's all I did and eventually I found an apartment.. The comment about telling them you have depressive episodes is a good idea too.

    Good luck!
  6. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I'd watch out for telling them the 'bipolar' thing especially if you have just the type 2 diagnosis....which is more just like agitated depression but carries the full blown stigma of the 'crazy manic person' in their mind.
  7. Pickett

    Pickett Well-Known Member

    That's bullshit. You don't have to tell him/her anything.

    You can just say, "That's between me and my doctor, and I would like to keep our relationship strictly business."

    He isn't your friend or family. He has no business knowing.

    All he needs to know is that the money will be on time. That's all you need to say but just be polite when you say it.
  8. ExtreemWays

    ExtreemWays Active Member

    ya, your right Pickett, it isn't their business. The trickey part is telling them that.

    Landlords are a fickle group and if they spot any shadyness your done. They won't consider you anymore.

    Amberrr had similar experiences so I don't think this is uncommon.

    I'm open to ideas about how to approach landlords with this situation.

    Anneinside had a good idea about telling them something different other than calling it BP. I haven't had a chance to try that idea out but I'll give it ago.

  9. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    ExtreemWays, I'm so sad to hear that this has happened to you. I wonder if you could get a mental health worker to help you with this - maybe even "do the talking" as an advocate and so you aren't left stumbling over hurdles (that are generally illegal in most places nowadays).

    I will be thinking of you and sending good thoughts.
  10. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Hi ya

    I am sorry you are struggling like this, it doesn't seem fair or right. I may be completely wrong,
    but I wonder if you could be deliberately vague yet disclose some thing along the lines of "I have a hereditary condition, so I struggle with pain..." they don't have to know its mental pain, then move swiftly on reassuring them that you are able to afford the rent and like a "quiet " life etc ? so no fears of wild parties etc
    I mean I would have thought all a landlord would care about is whether the tenant will pay the rent and if they'll damage their property with wild parties n' such...

    Its not your fault you have a condition... be it mental or physical. Hope you find somewhere you like soon. Let us know how you get on.

    Take care
  11. jlc20m

    jlc20m Well-Known Member

    I agree with Pickett. No one has a right to inquire about the nature of your disability. That is between you and your doctor. Being denied housing because of a disability- no matter if it is physical or emotional- is against your fundamental rights. As long as you pay your rent on time and are a responsible tenant, then nothing else matters. Do you have references from a past landlord? This most certainly will help your case. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Do you have somewhere to stay while you are searching for a place? Just hoping you are safe. Good luck on finding yourself a home...

    jlc20m et al :pinkrose:
  12. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    1. If they find out you have a disability, then tell them that it is an illegal question to ask. It's sad that you have to withhold important information that could be helpful to you and the community if handled properly, but the world just sucks.
  13. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    Maybe you can just drop out the disability part. Just tell them you're not working. Many people are unemployed. It's not uncommon at all. And if they ask why you are unemployed, just tell them you're looking for the right job.
  14. musiclovr7

    musiclovr7 New Member

    Simple remedy, don't mark that you have a disability. It is none of their business. You are just making it harder for yourself by making it known.
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