i drink to cope. i binge, i don't stop until i can't feel anything but sickness and nausea. i have done since i was 13. i'm sitting here with a mop bucket full of vomit next to my bed, that's pretty normal for me. last night, i went to a party where i was constantly being told i was a boys girlfriend when i wasn't. his party. he shouldn't have invited me if he wasn't serious about me, and he shouldn't have abandoned me as soon as some girls with longer legs turned up. and the more i got "oh! so your miles girlfriend!" the more i drank. until i burst into tears in his room n then went home after he had a go at me, because i'm apparently too into him. obviously nothing to do with the fact i was hurt by him paying me next to no attention, and really quite drunk. i don't think i can cope for much longer. i genuinely just want to die. i only have my grandparents to live for, but once they're gone theres nothing.