Turning Over a New Leaf for Fall

Discussion in 'Strategies for Success' started by NeverM1nd, Oct 4, 2016.

  1. NeverM1nd

    NeverM1nd Active Member

    Sorry about the pun-infused title. I'm a writer and in a mood. Either way, I've realized something about myself. No matter how much it sucks to admit, I HAVE become a defeatist. After being repeatedly disappointed, hurt, let down, etc. I expect the absolute worst from everyone and everything. For instance, I have this gallbladder operation coming up and in my head I'm gonna slip into a coma or become permanently disabled as a result. This must end! I've heard that thinking positive is a habit and being grateful is the foundation. I'm going to TRY this... Granted, my track record is terrible. Nevertheless, I need to do something! Anyone have any ideas on this or any other method of staying positive?
    Petal, SillyOldBear and Frances M like this.
  2. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I'm SO happy to hear this! :)
    A great start is to start a gratitude journal. It works. I write every morning and every night about all the things I'm grateful for in my life. This helps me to see that my life isn't as bad as my depression wants it to be sometimes. Oh, and fear of the unknown is very normal when it comes to medical stuff...I wrote in another post that when I get a flu shot, I automatically "know" I've contracted the worst kind of flu imaginable from the vaccine lol...and it brings me to panic. If only I could change that negative thought to a positive one...the mind is so powerful. If I can imagine having an incurable flu, why can't I imagine having the happiest day of my life????

    Another thing I find extremely important is Nature. I'm not pushing my spirituality at all, but I adore Nature as someone would a deity. I find beauty, tranquility and awe in the mountains, the woods, the lakes and the critters. It just gives me peace of mind. Getting out alone in Nature daily is essential to me for my gratitude and positivity. Bringing a camera with me and making it a daily goal to get a beautiful photo of something also lifts my mood.
    SunShine1973 and NeverM1nd like this.
  3. NeverM1nd

    NeverM1nd Active Member

    lol. Thanks Frances...but don't get too excited, this is ME we're talking about...haha. I was going to bring up gratitude journals. I've tried once or twice, but I couldn't really stick with it. I suppose it's worth another shot. I actually love adult coloring books and do have one that has journal pages, but I'm not always in the mood for that either. In terms of nature, you may be right to an extent. Even though I'd prefer to stay in most days, I usually do feel better when I get back in. lol. Either way, thanks very much for the suggestions. :D
    Frances M likes this.
  4. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    Hi there Never. Don't know what surgery they are doing exactly. But I can say that I had my gall bladder removed years ago. It was like a walk in the park (well almost). I was up and around almost as soon as the anesthesia wore off.
    As to turning over a new leaf, I am trying that too. I can be an absolute grump, ass, sourpuss..... you could go on forever with the list. This is especially true if I don't like someone. And I don't like very many people. A dear friend of mine who loved everyone recently passed away. I am challenging myself to become more like her. I will never totally succeed. There can never be another Helen. But if I try, I will make some progress. Is there someone you admire? Someone who absolutely refuses to be defeated? If so, try to be more like him/her. As long as you try, you will make progress.
    Frances M and NeverM1nd like this.
  5. NeverM1nd

    NeverM1nd Active Member

    Wow, SillyOldBear I have been looking for someone who had the surgery. There's so much info and disinfo out here...some are telling me I shouldn't have the procedure done and others are saying I'll feel much better after. I'm not so sure and very nervous about being on restriction for up to 6 weeks. :eek:

    In terms of people I admire, they are more like people I admire from afar. I have sucked at making legitimate friendships and for some reason, women are typically jealous of me. After so many times of going thru that, it's hard to let anyone in. I see people who seem awesome from afar...but I'm afraid to get to know them. In my own life, I often find glaring flaws in people once I get to know them. Clearly I'm far from perfect, but there is a callous nature to many people these days that is intolerable. For instance, I am typically all of my friends counselors when they're going thru things..even though I'm almost always going thru things. I almost never reach out for help so when I do, I'm in a pretty hopeless place. The last time I tried to reach out it was in regards to my son's father, lack of money, etc. After pouring my heart out to this chick who I had been there for SO many times, she proceeded to basically brag about how her life is better than mine so she had no reason to complain. Literally. I was talking about the fact that the father of my child was doing nothing and I wasn't making very much at the time either..the next thing out of her mouth was "Well, I reached 6 figured this year. I know it sounds awesome but I'm in higher tax bracket now. I have a cool dude to hang with and can buy what I want. Life is good!" That was the last time I reached out to a "friend". Since then it's only therapy.

    I said all that to say, I pretty much only admire the person people seem to be so it's difficult to mimic someone's moves when you're not even sure what or how they're doing it...
  6. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    @NeverM1nd It was about 30 years ago when I had my gall bladder removed. It was done with laproscopy and really was a snap. I was in huge amounts of pain before the surgery and actually could have died. After surgery the pain vanished. The only question was how much fatty food I could eat. One doctor said only a little. Another said as much as I wanted. Does not inspire much confidence in the medical system when they can't agree on that. But I would recommend reducing fat intake some, but certainly don't stop eating it. I think I missed two days of work. That was it. Please don't worry about it. It really is a simple surgery.
    NeverM1nd likes this.
  7. NeverM1nd

    NeverM1nd Active Member

    Thanks for that! I haven't been able to find anyone is "real life" who has had the procedure so everyone telling me to calm down just pisses me off. lol. I will try to think positive and not fixate on the potential risks...