Wife told me she was going out (again), we had an argument she left. I grabbed a () and put it around my (). I was about blinked out when I intentionally forced myself out and took the () off of my (), and coughed hard for a couple minutes. As I felt consciousness receding, a wave of relief rushed through me. Zero regrets. But when it came clear that "it" was actually happening I had to stop it. Ya this was an attempt. I know now I'll never really go through with it. I want to live. I had my chance. I logged into the chat right away because I felt it was important to talk to people right away. Not necessarily about it, but to just interact a little. Funny how rage turns into incredibly deep despair. I am so tired of being either mad or depressed. I want to just walk away and be someone else and enjoy life.