<<<<twisted love>>>>

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by forced, Dec 2, 2012.

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  1. forced

    forced Member

    i allowed this to happen in me to buy time. when i finally made passage through the gates of a new life.
    i hear of this Love i lived i hear people behind curtains ask each other what happened to this love. i m sooo angry as it was never love and the truth is hidden under second chances the abuser is looked up to by many and speaks highly of me. makin it hard for people to understand how i react to any convo or situation around the person. i avoid things i use to love just because of it. this many years later and there is no face to the hidden pain i lived the near death moments the twisted love that was polished by the admiring twisted soul. it makes me feel sick to my very being that i allowed this to happen in me. and my life.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Im sorry you have suffered hun It is not your fault the fault all lies with your abuser
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm so sorry you had to endure that. It is not that you "allowed" it, it's more likely that you did whatever you had to do to survive alive. Not your fault at all, but IS the fault of the person who abused you. What would you think of seeing a counselor about what happened to you? Someone who might help you put the demons behind you now? Thinking of you...:hug:
  4. forced

    forced Member

    i m not denying the fault the abuser holds. just noting that i knew love didn t treat their love like this yet i allowed a belief of love to the point i became lost in my own fears and hopes. i left letters to myself so i wouldn t forget why i was doing what i felt i had to but it has left me feeling twisted inside. like i m some kind of bad guy. if i would have taken courage earlier .................. whos to say really. i dreaded the day so bad the day the beating wouldn t stop. i allowed false hope to take me:(
  5. forced

    forced Member

    its such a mind frk:(
  6. forced

    forced Member

    Or how about having a peice of your own identy stolen from you and used against you. how does that shit happen. where they get to live it and you don t anymore frked shit.
  7. Mayflower7

    Mayflower7 Banned Member

    Hi Forced,
    Please understand I know exactly how you feel, it is like the " abuser" steals a part of you. It was not your fault, you did nothing to warrant that abuse. Any behaviour you did is connected to the abuse, and that is also not your fault. It is the deep hurt you feel inside coming outwards. Remember they can't steal your spirit or who you want to be. In time with the right help and support you will feel better.
    Please seek medical attention and counselling, abusers portray themselves as these wonderful people it's an act. As they hurt people so are not, society see's a superficial charm and they use it against the victim so don't go to prison basically. All abusers need treatment ? For criminal justice system to decide.
    Take Care I can see how your struggling right now!
  8. forced

    forced Member

    it started with a common interest i thought. turned out to be his in then his ineterest then his passion then he was the expert and used it against me then my stuff was his. i let go of that part of me then i got another interest and it happened all over again till it stole a community from me. frked up. i m no longer around that person. but its like the reality of what happened is starting to surface a few years out. was so busy surviving i didn t notice how my own charecters where copied then stolen and used to abuse me. i don t need medical attention. if you met me you would probably ask me for insight. i m a ok just processing and there is no other place to do it safely and people would never get this unless it happened or it becomes your crazy for saying it more fraked up shit. but people cant wrap there minds around that wich they can t imagine and then try and make it fit where they can:( humane consciousness plz waken
  9. forced

    forced Member

    why r people so mean to each other why do lovers look for faults why do strangers look for dangers why do parents look for disobedience why can t we look for the better in all with actions n words
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