so two people causes an accident. they're both at fault. but only one of them gets the blame, gets to be yelled at, gets to feel guilty, gets to clean up the mess, gets all the consequences. how come only one person gets the blame? well, the other one is much older, about 11 years older. the one who gets blamed is a nobody. she's the youngest in the family, so she deserves no respect, no say, nothing. it's easier to blame her. it's not fair. i know it's a bad world we live in, where nothing's fair, but why can't things be at least a little bit easier at home? i hate the fact that whenever i feel that i'm coming out of depression, i'm feeling better about myself, i forget about suicide, something like this happens, and i feel worthless again. and i go back to my shell. it pisses me off. it's really not fair. i hate people. especially myself. i'm the worst kind. the kind who is just a waste of space in the world, wasting people's time on me. i'm selfish. i'm clumsy. i'm the reason my family's having such a hard time financially. i'm the reason my dad's always angry. i can't do anything right. i'm such a loser. and it pisses me off. and i just get angrier and angrier at myself. i really hate this. i hate the world.