Does anyone think, i know that this is simplistic, that there are two types of people in the world. People that will leave a relationship if they're not happy and then the people that will try to make that relationship work because they can remember the good times and the history. I think, as the REM song says, it's easier to leave than to be left behind, the choice has been taken away from you, you're just left with the feeling of rejection. What is love anyway, it's just a selfish emotion, i love you, i don't love you anymore, well why did you love me in the first place. Seems to me like changing a car, or the colour of a wall. How many times can you go through life telling people you love them, or getting married, it means less each time. No one ever says to a new partner I really love you but not quite as much as my last one It's all an illusion, time is a great healer because you forget, my ex is a survivor, i admire these people really, her new bloke left his marriage as well. I just think when you have a decision made that you don't agree with it just leaves you feeling numb and unpowered, and can take away any self respect. My career has gone to shit, I should be stronger, but i can't get my mind off of what's happened. I want my ex to be happy, but i don't want to have to think about it or witness it, i can't start a new relationship because i still love my ex and am a emotional mess, on the inside. I go from sadness, despair, to feeling pure evil, i've probably banged on about this before on this forum but what the hell it's what it's here for I hope:biggrin: In the UK firearms aren't easy to get hold of, since the last fruitcake murdered about 20 children in a school in 96 they've banned handguns & the ones you're allowed have been modified hugely. I've got tablets but if i do it i want it done correctly, no fucking about, just done and finished.