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U KnoW What?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by messedupguy, Oct 19, 2007.

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  1. messedupguy

    messedupguy New Member

    I don't believe any of of you care! I will die this weekend. I just found out that the most imortant person in my life, the only one that seemed to understand me, has died. There is no one else to talk to. I am going to beg $100 from family, use it to get a motel room and <mod edit: bunny - methods>

    There is no reason to live. All is fucked. No job, no money, no love, no hope. Have lost my home, everything in it. Pissed away $150K. Destroyed my life. If you think this is bullshit, to fucking bad.

    What is there to go on for? I hope someone can give me an answer, some reason to go on. I have no clue. I want some hope, but now I have none.

    I am a submissive pervert. I want to drink piss and be abused. I can't stand this. I want to die.

    Fuck living,
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 20, 2007
  2. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    Damn. I'm sorry. :sad:

    Wish I knew what to say... nothing can make it better, I know. Just know you're heard....
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    we do care
    and just because your friend passed doenst mean you have to.
    take care
  4. nowill2live

    nowill2live Member

    whether you want to hear this or not you need to wake up and get out of the depressing hole you're in
    people do care, hell I don't know you and I care enough to want you to live. if you're so blind that you can't see that people care about you to want you to live then you are lost.

    no one can make you want to live, no one can say some magical words that will make you live, you HAVE to want to live, and since you're on this website I take it that you do. life sucks, trust me I know more than some but killing yourself won't do anything. much like alcohol and drugs it just makes things worse

    life is what you make of it
  5. saeyoon Chung

    saeyoon Chung Well-Known Member

    We need to understand 'grief' is a very serious "illness" and it can trigger a plethora of emotions.

    WWE wrestler Chris Benoit's (murder) suicide was also mostly due to the death of his best friend, Eddie Guerrero and the heavy grief that followed.
    You'll need strong support from your family, relatives and friends

    Grief is also a normal and natural response to loss. So we cannot avoid it.
    You must be going through a lot right now, a lot more than you can describe in words.

    It will take time to heal. No one knows how long, but let "time" do the healing.
    I feel sorry to hear about what's happened.

    You seem angry and paranoid about not being financially secure.
    You said you just lost your home(worth $150K), how did that happen?
    you also talked about being abused, can you tell us what that's about?

    Assess your (financial) situation carefully and realistically.

    (Like, how much monetary support can you get from your family, how much do you need to earn to pay all the bills, can you find cheaper rent, any decent paying FT/PT jobs around you?)
    Is there anything you can do to bounce back from this?

    We sometimes have no alternative but to start from scratch, well we all have to start "somewhere" right?
    (I'll be independent by early next year, paying my own bills,hefty tuition and gas..)

    I believe you can overcome this. I'm scared as hell of my own situation too, just having to find roommates alone can be frustrating.. but I'm not giving up just yet.

    I want to move into a townhouse next year,(can't stand being on 7th floor) and before I hit 30, I want to sit on a big-ass couch and watch HD TV in my own 'cozy' 2-storey home.

    Don't we all dream of that? Visualize yourself having all that and more.
    You'll find another reason to live.

    I hope you get better. Good luck, mate~!
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry to hear that you lost your friend and confidant. I am sure that person would not like to see you end your life because theirs is gone. I don't know what has gone on in your life beyond this loss, but it sounds like you have been through some rough times. As was stated above, some of what you are feeling may be due to grief. When we lose someone like this, the feelings can be that there is simply no way to continue on living ourselves, but there is nothing further from the truth. Allow yourself the time to grieve. This can take months or it can take years. There is no set time limit on grief. In the meantime, do what you can to pick yourself up and begin wherever you must to stand on your own two feet once again. It will not be an easy task, but none of us have it easy. Get whatever support you can, whether it be emotional or financial. There are things you may need to do without, I can't say. Only you have the power to change your situation, but others can help you ahieve this. I wish you luck. :hug:
  7. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    There is always hope. People love you and would be destroyed by your death. Remember, what's done is done. Put the money thing out of your mind because worrying and stressing out never solved anything. Form an action plan for what you can do to change your circumstances, write it down and stick to it. This will help you a hell of a lot more than worrying. I'm sorry about your friend :( It's very hard to lose a loved one. About the piss thing...well, I don't know what to say about that except that there must be something in your childhood that has caused this unusual fetish. Perhaps if you can figure that out, you can get to the root of it and stop. What about therapy? Before you go hurting yourself please exhaust all other possibilities because you only get one life. Good luck.
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