Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ipod, Nov 27, 2010.

  1. ipod

    ipod Member

    I can't take my fucking life anymore. This whole freaking Thanksgiving break has been hell for me. :blue: The only person who ever makes me happy has been out of town. My family never quits fighting or cussing at me.

    This guy that "loves me" flipped out on me and left. Then comes back the next day saying he needs me to be there for him cuz he hurt his knee. He didn't care that he was a jerk yesterday to me. Why am I treated like shit?? What did I ever do to deserve this hell I live in? I would have already cut by now except I can't because of my sister. She's my bestfriend and I made her a promise. I can't leave her. I want to die. It would just be better for everybody if I was gone. She's my ONLY freakin reason for breathing right now. Except I haven't even been around her. It's hard to live for something you aren't around or can't see. :/ I used to cut and do things similar to that but I don't anymore because of my sister. I don't plan on doing those things anymore either. ugh, but God it just sucks. My life sucks. I'm sad and depressed all the time except when I'm with my sis. Everything is good when I'm with her.:missing: :(
  2. Mary

    Mary Guest

    Don't ever leave me:

    Hello. I hope you are feeling better. I noted that you posted a nice post to someone else who wasn't feeling well. Also, like me - you haven't posted too many posts so far. I'm not that familiar with what goes on here, but I hope you will find some support.

    I came on here because I am feeling quite upset about my life as well. I hate to say it - but if it wasn't for my sons, I don't know what I would do. I have so totally painted myself into a corner... I don't know how long I will be able to hang on.

    Some of us were born into some very crappy families. As I have grown older and watched people who are basically impotent, ignorant or emotionally detached - I realize that it's up to me to navigate towards people who have more going for themselves... and to keep my contact with the former group of people at a minimum.

    My mother is so bad - she had to be stopped from getting a gun and killing me; she's hit me with a big stick (hey, it hurts); she's started to stab me with a pair of scissors and she has worked many times to get people to believe that I abuse her (now that she lives with me and my husband in her later years).

    It's really rotten to know your own mother would kill you or have you put in jail! The whole 'elder abuse' thing happened when I asked her to lessen her drinking for 10 days before her big birthday celebration. And of course, there was no basis in fact.

    But, ultimately having her live with me is a very good thing. Without me, she would probably have given up hope for life. She hates rest homes... and she clearly has so much more with us. She loves her little nest and despite her wild moments - she is a basically good person. It was important for me to see this.

    For whatever reason (jealousy, rage - emotions not related to us, fear, etc.) people in our lives can be really horrible.

    What you have done by joining this forum is moved away mentally and tried to find support elsewhere. That is a very important step. Another step is to start building real relationships with others. I don't know about your living situation (near a city, town, etc.) - but it is not at all a good thing to have only one person in your life that makes you happy (your sister).

    This kind of single relationship needs other relationships in a network of good people in order to survive. Unless you're stranded on an island - or in some strange situation - you shouldn't be dependent upon only one person. You're already feeling the stress of that since she isn't around you right now.

    Do you do any research via the Internet? You might want to research what foods adversely affect our mental mood and attitude. A lot of people have found that their thinking clears up and their mood raises when they stop eating foods that they (unbeknown to them) are allergic to. Wheat can be very problematic - and most people don't know that. Check into it (it might help).

    You need to keep your wits about you. You need to strategize for success. Your family will most probably come around and will stop being such dim-whits. But! Maybe not! Maybe they're true unadulterated dumb-asses. It's up to you to maneuver around them in a way that lessens their impact on your mental and physical health.

    Take care of your physical health - it will help you clear your thinking so you can find the love and support (and give the love and support) that will help you feel better.

    My sincere wish that things get much better 4 you.

    :piano: Listen to a favorite song...
  3. ipod

    ipod Member

    Mary, so I just now got back on this forum and read your post and it helped. I REALLY needed someone to lift my spirits right about now. Yeah, i'm not really all that familiar with how things work on here. and I've posted not too many things on here, but sometimes I just gotta try and find support from somewhere else(this forum). I'm kind of at a loss as of what to do right about now. Because my best friend's mom might not let us hangout anymore. and idk the whole thing is insane. and it's just like...can life ever just give me a break??? you know?

    Man I can't believe that about your mom. I mean I hate my mother, because of how she treats me but it's not as bad as the things your mom did to you:/

    I hope you are doing well
    I totally agree with you that some of us are born into very crappy families.