Ugh fucking life *contains methods* *contains triggers* View at your own risk

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Darkness Inside, Oct 21, 2010.

  1. Darkness Inside

    Darkness Inside Account Closed

    I don't know why im still alive, i don't have the guts to xxxx, im begining to get those guts anything is looking tempting, my fathers xxxxin, xxxx not before i write my suicide note, maybe i don't need a note, maybe i do i fucking don't know i am not going to fucking last and i know it, people recommend me to talk to call 911, ive tried i just cant, my damn voice prevents me i just cant get past it im stuck alone, and i know im going to die, its better then all the crap i deal with it really is *crying* and i fuckign hate myself so much i can't even control myself i forget everytihng i need i was abiused xxxx xxxx because i need to or else ill go out of control, i cant fucking control myself anymore nothing works, i have to be put out of my misery... for the fucking better of everyone, im not going to try anymore theirs no point i don't even know how, because my fucking voice won't allow me to stop trying in school no matter how i want to say fuck off and storm out i cant do that i use to be able to do that, im better off dead and i knows it, even my parents fucking said i was a mistake, i never should have been born born, life is so pointless i don't fucking understand, why couldn't i have been just some ignorant normal fucktard who doesn't have problesm god fucking dammit i hate myself so much:wallbash::surrender: im tired of bashing myself i waving the fuckign white flag im giving up, fo you fucking people get it im dead just havent died yet, but dont you fucking worry ill be dead soon
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 21, 2010
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    What has gotten you so upset? It seems to have gotten worse lately...please PM me and let me know...I am concerned about you...J
     
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Aaron what's happened?..
    don't hurt yourself...
    is there anyone who can ring 911 for you?
    talk to us please
     
  4. Darkness Inside

    Darkness Inside Account Closed

    no their fucking isn't their never has been its useless i shouldn't have posted
     
  5. Darkness Inside

    Darkness Inside Account Closed

    Agh my nose hurts like hell it feels as if I broke it, feels the same way when I broke my finger pain like hell, had a crappy sleep. Thank god for an easy school day.
     
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    fo you fucking people get it im dead just havent died yet,
    I get it aaron..l feel like that too...*hug*
     
  7. Enigmatic Ed

    Enigmatic Ed Well-Known Member

    you are not dead so your choices are infinate compared to those who are. dont do anything unwise there is a chance things can change. somewhere there are people who will care about you, give them a chance to find you.
     
  8. Darkness Inside

    Darkness Inside Account Closed

    Things aren't changing yet.
     
  9. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    wow, Aaron, you have a lot of pain. I don't think that your parents are right to say bad things about you, and maybe a lot of the way you feel is their fault.
     
  10. Oskan

    Oskan Member

    You want help? Advice? A way out? PM me if you don't find this post too irritating, heck, PM me anyway. Because you don't deserve to go through the mental and physical abuse of your parents. It's hard to believe, deep down, because they're your parents, but they're WRONG. Just because they say you're a screw up doesn't mean its true. You said you try in school-continue to do so. Get a scholarship. Get to college. Get away from them and their lifestyle, but in the 21st century, it can be hard to get anywhere without an education.
    That doesn't mean you have to end it.
    Because, screw it, what do your parents know about you, if they've driven you to this kind of pain?
    Stay strong. Scream when you need to. Get help. If you can't talk, leave the school nurse or a good teacher or someone just a note like, "I need help, I don't want to go home, this is what my parents do, please get me out of this hellhole." And sign it.
    Because the world needs people like you-people who are strong and good inside even if their home life sucks, and I can tell you're not a screw up, no matter what your parents say.
     
  11. Darkness Inside

    Darkness Inside Account Closed

    Im not college material nor am I school material Im pathetic!!!
     
  12. Darkness Inside

    Darkness Inside Account Closed

    Life is not for me, itd be better if I was fucking Dead!!! I hate myself, i hate those fucking happy ignorant people who don't have any damn problems. I have no future i ahve no purpose, I am a waste of oxygen a waste of fucking space. I don't know why people care. No one will believe me because my parents are so god damn smart they buy me stuff and act like such good people when guests are fuckin over, so i feel like a tiny little immature fucking kid, i can't do shit. I called child services once, no one came for me. Im not a damn child anymore, its damn useless, im going to end my life one of these days... or nights.
     
  13. Darkness Inside

    Darkness Inside Account Closed

    I hate nights so fucking much, i get so god damn depressed, and daytime isn't helpful either because of my damn parents, i cant move out even if i wanted, im stuck in the middle of no where. my parents were happy to give my sister 25K $ to boost her in life, and they won't give me shit, they'll give me the boot they will. They've been saying that since i was young, calling me a god damn mistake and they can't wait to kick me out. its not my fucking fault im not my sister with damn straight A's every fucking year. i don't fucking care if she was raped by some bastard, shes one of the fucking reasons im so screwed up, im never going to change im just going to be this bitch who deserves to die. im tited of fucking suffering, and my parents are such assholes holding keys over my head saying awww you were so close to getting us, but fucking no were smart you stupif kid we're buy you everything a teenager could want, how bout a life, how bout the two of you fucktards dead. lets see how happy you are when i shoot the both of you, will that make you happy, how bout you mother, will you be happy, i will let you bleed out your the main fucking problem of this you started all you abused me for everything, for being mute, for having fucking autism, for getting in trouble for ignoring the kindergarten teacher when i couldn't even talk you stupif bitch!!! you even handcuffed me because you thought left handed people were weird, why do you think i always got bad grades fot my writing neatness huh!!! god fucking dammit you set a god damn stray dog on me, you are so lucky i didn't die, else you would have been put to death like the dog you are i get in trouble because a bully falsey accused me of touching his balls really you think im gay!!!! i may have short term fucking memory but i still remember this all of fucking this, dont yi u fucking fiorget when you handcuffed me to a god damn chair and didn't feed me barely and made me stare at a blank fuckin gwall, the one gift you gave me, rught before you fabe tiy me, i felt to sha[ppy you going tot give me a gift, im so happy happiest moment in my fucking young life, until i fuckin found out it was the crown, king of losers, you bitch god dammit thanks, i love how you love to ruin my life, i love how you say that ill never pass school, you know ill probably pass school, maybe jsut barely but i will strive to pass high school if i don't kill you adn myasekf first, i want to hear your god damn last breath, i want to hear you cuss at me when i come to you with my gun, i will enjoy it, and no way am i surrendering after i kill you i will love seeing you realize what happends wehn you fuck with a baby, he becoems a fucked up oxygen wasting tennager ahh fucking hate myself