UGH!! I am in a fit of rage...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by AsphyxiateOnMisery, Feb 10, 2012.

  1. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    My husband always texts me at least a few times while he's at work...just to let me know what he's doing and how soon he'll be home and stuff. Today, no word from him since 8 AM, and it's now 5 in the evening. "Oh, I've been busy, been on the phone with so and so..." Guess what? I don't give a flying fuck who you were on the phone with. You don't care about me one single bit. I started worrying that something happened because this is very unlike him. And then he finally answers the damn phone and instead of saying sorry, he acts like nothing is wrong. Fucking asshole. I'm making him sleep in his car tonight. He can fuck off...who the fuck does he think he is treating me like that? I'm NOT taking that shit. I'll show his ass what's what.
     
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Well I certainly hope that you were able to talk to him and see why he got so bogged down at work. It's easy to become extremely upset in this type of situation, and take offense, or think the worst, but hopefully things made sense, & you can understand what happened. It'd be nice if it were no big deal at all, because it's so easy to get fired up emotionally & then become irate! Good luck!
     
  3. lycoris

    lycoris Well-Known Member

    Is there any reason for this distrust? Has he cheated on you or something?

    I'm just trying to work out why you're giving him such a hard time for working hard, I mean, really lets think about this. He's got busy at work, he's not automatically going to think "forget work i have to call my wife" it's his job.

    I read this thread and gave it 24 hours before I replied because I couldn't quite see where you were coming from to be honest. Unless he's really untrustworthy there's no reason to be reacting that way.

    I really hope you didn't make him sleep in the car because that is one major over reaction.

    What kind of job does he do? Surely you understand that when he's at work, he's at work, he can't just take time out if it gets busy.

    What kind of job do you do? Is it a case of your job is more flexible so you don't realise that maybe his is different?

    I want to see your point. I really do. But I just can't with the amount of information given.
     
  4. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Okay, firstly, he's a heroin addict. So yes there's some mistrust. For all I know, he could have been using and got caught and arrested, could be sick, or dead. So I think I had some pretty good reasons to worry. He ALWAYS texts me. So the one day he doesn't, of course it makes me think something is wrong. Why exactly is that unnatural? Also even if heroin wasn't an issue, just he sheer fact that he didn't care enough to take 5 seconds to send a text to show he cares about me ( and because he knows I have anxiety problems) is fucking bullshit. I didn't end up making him sleep in his car this time, but I told him I would if it happened again. Also, work or not, I should still be his first priority, just like he would be mine if the situation were reversed; that's what a good relationship is. His job is one where he doesn't know exactly what time of day he's going to finish, it's just whenever he finishes his work. That's why he texts me to let me know how soon he's coming home. I don't work, I go to college, and its not a matter of whose schedule is more flexible. I text him during class if I know it's a matter of him worrying about me if I don't. And you didn't have to reply to the thread if you had nothing to say by the way.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 12, 2012
  5. lycoris

    lycoris Well-Known Member

    Wow, that's a lot of words for someone with nothing to say don't you think? I was asking questions because I couldn't understand how a text could be so important. Now you've answered those questions in probably the most bitchy and defensive way possible.

    So just so you know I do have something to say but given the reply you just gave I'm not going to anymore.

    Maybe think about that next time you're snip snapping away at people who give half a damn.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 13, 2012
  6. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    ...............
     
  7. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    While I sympathise and understand where you're coming from, if you make it a "bad" deal that he didn't text and force the fact that he has to text you or explain why he hasn't.. you're trapping him. You've effectively told him that if he doesn't text you, he's out of the house for the night. He's not betraying you by not texting you, nor should he feel worried that he's going to get into shit if he doesnt text you. Which btw, has been pretty solidly set. He should want to text you because he can and is thinking of you. But just because he might not, doesn't mean he isn't thinking of you.

    Idk, it's difficult if not impossibile to understand someone elses relationship methods. All I'm trying to point out is, objectively, youre making a positive experience a new job for him. Take it or not, but if he doesn't text you another time, don't interrogate him. Don't be mad at him or demand answers, ask how his day went. Don't bring up the texting, show the interest in how he is. It's about care and respect. Maybe, he just needed to be left alone that day. Or maybe "ect". Just becareful.. idk why you're expecting that, but when you're in a relationship and things like this get weak periodically, you have a choice. To realize he isn't obligated to do it, that he does it because he cares and that maybe something is up, or to think somethings up and that he's a selfish git who can't even take 20 seconds out of his time at work to send you a text.

    Hope things are better now atleast.
     
  8. northstar

    northstar Active Member

    I think your feelings are valid and I'm sorry he and other people are telling you not to feel the way you feel
    <3
     
  9. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    You said you took 24 hours to reply because you had nothing to say at first, that's why I said that last part - not because I was implying that everything you had written was equivalent to having nothing to say. As for being bitchy and defensive, yes, I probably was because I was pissed off at the situation at the time and then you saying "Well I don't really get where you're coming from" didn't help. So. Yeah. Sorry if I offended you, but I thought it was quite obvious from my post how upset I was in the first place, and therefore likely to keep "snip snapping away" at responses like that.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 24, 2012
  10. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Yes. You should have just stopped at that...because it is a matter of understanding something that your personal beliefs and values probably don't allow you to understand. On the other hand, I probably should have known better than to post here and expect people to understand mine.
     
  11. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Thank you. I truly appreciate that <3
     
  12. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    It's just something to keep in mind, or leave it at that. And no, I shouldnt have stopped.

    Hope things are more chilled for you now
     
  13. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    It sounds to me like the real problem is the addiction/lifestyle. If you didn't have that mistrust, are you sure that not texting you would be as much of an issue? Because it seems to me that in a normal, loving, trusting relationship, you would be able to assume that it's a given that he got caught up…

    It seems like you're trying to sort it all out by yourself because of love or dedication or what-have-you, but I'm not completely sure that you're going to be able to do it alone. I don't think that you can force people to recover, they sort of have to make that decision on their own… and it would appear that for now, he's choosing the drug.

    I'm really sorry.