Ugh I hate this

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WillST, Jan 15, 2009.

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  1. WillST

    WillST Active Member

    I think I get worse each day. I need to try and convey how it feels right now. Do you know the feeling of grief and sadness you get, perhaps when someone important to you has died? I feel like that almost 24/7 for no explicable reason.

    I am starting to realize perhaps it has me that has died, I feel dead inside. I have zero zest for life, I can't laugh or smile at anything normal people would anymore, I am just waiting to be put out of my misery.

    I wonder what is the use going on like this? It is meaningless and trivial and I wonder is this all there is for me? I am here on my own and I am trying hard to see what there is for me anymore. Life seem so pathetic I wish I could leave it all behind.

    I have tried holding on for something better but I always end up feeling like I have been dragged through the dirt because when I look back things have got worse not better.

    Do I just let go or carry on and try to take the hurt?

    I am filled with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and ashamed of the fact that I can do nothing to change how I feel. :(
  2. oxygenidia

    oxygenidia Well-Known Member

    I can relate to the feeling, I allso feel like that, hopeless and lonely and or like I am grieving or missing. Thinking about the past a lot and worry about the future.

    You clearly sound like you are in a depression. Do you get medications for it, because that can really help. I used to be on meds and it helped me. I stopped eating them too early though, and now I'm back where I started.

    Anyway, can't give any straight advice, just know that you are ot alone in this situation:wink:

  3. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    I also can't help you, I feel the same way. I just don't see the point in living, I wish there was something to look forward too but fail to see ANYTHING...
  4. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    Hi WillSV, you say you feel this way for no reason, but has something happened to hurt you badly in the past maybe you're not as recovered from it as you thought?

    I could be very wrong, it's just a suggestion, and I am certainloy here if you want to PM me for a friend to listen to you.
  5. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hi WillSV. There is nothing to feel ahamed about in how you are feeling. What you describe sounds to me like depression and making you feel ashamed about the fact is one of it's little tricks. Don't fall for it. Are you seeking any proffessional help for this? Although saying that I've had better help from talking to people here. Don't give up because you really don't know what's around the corner. I've been as close as you can get on a couple of occassions but for one reason or another I couldn't commit. Now I'm glad I didn't. My life is still really painful but I'm coping with it better. Some peripheral things are improving and that's a start. Depression can be a long hard journey but you can beat it and in the end become stronger for it. Best wishes.S.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hi Will,
    Yes it definitley sounds like deep depression to me. I spent fourteen years feeling that way Just lying in bed waiting for something to happen. I finally attempted OD.
    I ended up in a facility called ACT for people with no insurance. Well my phobias affected me physically and made me sick as hell being in there. After four days of throwing up and not eating and feeling gravely ill I finally got up and they started me on meds. By the time I left I was feeling stable.
    Anyhow I am getting long winded, the point I was getting to is you need help you can't fight depression on your own. You need to take that first step. Seek out help now, the sooner the better!!Take Care!!~Joseph~
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