I think I get worse each day. I need to try and convey how it feels right now. Do you know the feeling of grief and sadness you get, perhaps when someone important to you has died? I feel like that almost 24/7 for no explicable reason. I am starting to realize perhaps it has me that has died, I feel dead inside. I have zero zest for life, I can't laugh or smile at anything normal people would anymore, I am just waiting to be put out of my misery. I wonder what is the use going on like this? It is meaningless and trivial and I wonder is this all there is for me? I am here on my own and I am trying hard to see what there is for me anymore. Life seem so pathetic I wish I could leave it all behind. I have tried holding on for something better but I always end up feeling like I have been dragged through the dirt because when I look back things have got worse not better. Do I just let go or carry on and try to take the hurt? I am filled with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and ashamed of the fact that I can do nothing to change how I feel.