Ugh just ugh

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by na-taya, May 3, 2016.

  1. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    I've had a not very nice tooth ache most of the day. My mood the last few days has been dipping more and more. I can't even explain how I feel right now. I know I just want to be at home but I can't because I'm babysitting and will be for tonight and the next two nights while my friend and her partner at work.......tomorrow night and Thursday night a friend of my friend is going to be here as well. I don't know him very well at all.

    I don't even want to do anything anymore I just want to curl up and rott away in my unit. I don't want people to need me and I don't want to need others either.
    I feel so pathetic as a human I have done nothing useful for anybody or for myself. I have nothing.

    I tried to have a bath because I don't have one at home but all I could do was stress.

    I really really don't want to do this thing called life anymore but I can't do anything about it at my friends house anyways

    I'm just so tied of feeling so miserable, I'm tied of everything about life....
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry hun

    Is the tooth still aching? Maybe you need to see a dentist? Do you have any pain relief until you can?

    Is there no way you can get out the babysitting? Or is it maybe better that you do it? So you're not alone?
  3. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    I don't have anything on me for pain relief but I found some basic Panadol at my friends so I just took some in hopes it will wasn't so bad when the child was awake and had to focus on but it's quiet uncomfortable right now. I think dentist is a good idea if it's still painful tomorrow.

    I may get Thursday off if my friends friend is happy to do it but I doubt it very much. I just dislike being around males I don't know and I'm not even in my own space and nothing belongs to me it's just going to be awkward.

    I also have to get back home in the morning to feed the cats and spend some time with them before I am due to come back.

    It all just seems so much right now yet I do nothing else with my time so I should be able to cope fine but its a huge battle.

    Just getting the babysitting done is prob a good idea because I won't be able to act on my SH urges or anything.

    I don't know what to do to be able to deal with this in a normal way or just take it in my stride. Everything just seems like a huge pointless battle for no reason other than to live my pointless pathetic life.