I'm an incest survivor in constant crisis. Extremely lonely. Very anxious person. My life has devolved into living in a box next to a noisy old lady. I've been through too much to really put into one post. All I can say is that ptsd causes me to be alternately suicidal or at times homicidal, although that is not as common. I could only ever kill myself. I am tired of this life. It never gets better.