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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SilverMoon, Dec 7, 2013.

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  1. SilverMoon

    SilverMoon New Member

    I'm an incest survivor in constant crisis.
    Extremely lonely.
    Very anxious person.
    My life has devolved into living in a box next to a noisy old lady.
    I've been through too much to really put into one post.
    All I can say is that ptsd causes me to be alternately suicidal
    or at times homicidal, although that is not as common. I could
    only ever kill myself.
    I am tired of this life. It never gets better.
  2. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    silver, i'm very sorry that you have gone through so much pain in life. i hope you will find this is a safe place to open up and let it all out. you don't have to do that right away, just as you feel comfortable doing so. welcome to the forums, i hope to see you in chat sometime, so we can properly meet.

    i dont know if life will get better or not, but .. i have a plaque that constantly revives that hope in me, as i keep it hanging on the wall behind my pc...

    it reads:
    Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.

    I want to be around for all those good moments that take my breath away... I figure I've been through enough hurt that I deserve them... I think you do too, don't you?
  3. SilverMoon

    SilverMoon New Member

    Hi, I see you live in TN, once dated a guy who lived in Nashville. Nice place.
    I guess I haven't really had those moments. Thanks for caring enough to post.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just get through each day ok try to do something for you even something as simple as going out for a walk to get away from the noise
  5. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    lol, i hate living in TN .. it is beautiful to the eye, yes.. but thats as far as it goes .. docs dont help you, cops tell you theres nothing they can do about it when you report crimes against you, and the laws here are so crazy its not even funny, and then there are the people... that smile sweetly at you, talk in a singsong sweet sounding voice... all the while cussing you out and telling you that you dont deserve to live, everyone would be happier if you died, you are a waste of life, etc... or spreading vicious rumors just b/c they like to see drama...

    if you've not had any of those moments yet... they are out there... just gotta keep muddling thru life til you get to one... point is, u dont really want to miss any of them do you?
  6. SilverMoon

    SilverMoon New Member

    If you hate TN you can move up to CT where I live, where nobody does that, if they dislike you they tell you to your face. Lived in the north and the south and yeah, some of what you describe does exist. Pros and cons abound. I myself want to move out West if I make it.
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