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  1. I had an opportunity not to feel this horrible way, which is how I feel right the **** now. Ugh, this is sounding like a "Let It All Out" rant. Friday could have been it. This "dead while alive" feeling could have resulted in a better way than my still being here. What the hell do I expect? Do I really believe that my disability would ever get better, that society would change, that they'd ever return to me? Right now, I could be on the island. I have what many want. It could end so suddenly and so peacefully for me, yet, I'm still here. I gave my promise to her not to go until a weekday. I will keep that promise until. After that, if I don't die, it'll prove that I am weaker than I imagined. I have every reason to end my life. There is nothing to keep me here, especially since for me, death will be so easy.
     
  2. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    I understand you Beyond Broken.... and am sorry about all this. I have pm you, if you can get back to me, i'd appreciate. No rush, going to bed in a few.

    huggles and stay safe

    granny
     
  3. I was speaking with someone on MSN a while ago, and I thought about something. Alot of people who hate their lives, say that life is a joke. I think that is how alot of self-haters would perceive reality. There are moments in which I hate myself, then I realize that I'm not limited by life because life is eternal and not bound to this world. I hate being alive in this world. I hate feeling separated from everything here, while physically, I still exist here. The world is a shaded illusion which takes time to uncover. When you do, you realize the joke of the world which makes you laugh, and cry when you remember the time when you believed it all to be real, before the world stripped away your innocence.
     
  4. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    :hug:

    Thinking of you
     
  5. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    :hug: Kurt, I hope you could find some happiness :hug:
     
  6. Time is getting close. Also, thanks to people in the SF chat for helping me to realize how bad disability is. I appreciate it.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2007
  7. :hug: Lauren and Shadowlands
     
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