Sometimes I randomly get very depressed and suicidal with my boyfriend. A couple months ago I found out hes been cheating on me with some girl who played world of warcraft with him and it even got to the point where they were talking about moving in together, he was telling her he loved her, and he even ran up an 800$ phone bill because she lives in california and we live in tampa. I moved in with him after i got kicked out of my parents house for having low grades in college. I did bad in college cause of what i was going through with him. I've been paying for everything, food, and stuff when we go out we always drive my car around and i pay for gas, i even lent him 400$ to buy a guitar he said he was gonna pay me back shortly after but he hasn't and today he bought a 300$ video card for his computer when he supposebly has no money to pay me back. The worst part was he was even using my credit card to pay for his monthly wow payments where he met that other girl.. I feel like such an idiot but I love him for some reason. He said hes changed and I live with him now and we both are unemployed and I'm with him every second but its not enough i still think hes going behind my back... I'm so frustrated the only time i can get away is in the bath were i always try to cut my wrists or my thighs. I lost car insurance a couple days ago... i have no where to go. nothing to do. i have no friends around here because i moved away from my home town. i have no money.. I dropped out of school. everything seems so hopeless.. What have i done to myself. I can't even get myself out of this mess i can't even find a job i've applied everywhere in town.