Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by 41021, Mar 20, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    can't do this
    i cannot do this
    can't cope on my own. i am only one person
    i have had it.

    i can't get it out of my freaking head
    i will try to be careful
    but i don't know what i am doing
    and frankly i really don't care at this point
    i have only one goal
    my gawd i've got to make it stop

    oh to hell i don't want to be careful i want it to go away i want to go away
    i don't want to deal with this anymore i am tired
    i've done my time
    i've done enough
    i'm satisfied with it.

    this is shredding my heart
    trashing my head
    is going to kill me anyway

    freaking panic huh? where the hell did that come from?
    but i am afraid to calm

    losing it
    freaking losing my damned grip
    and i think i just don't care
    kk that is it
    i have to do something
  2. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    i know it hurts. i feel it too. just want it to end. dont know what else to do, how else to fight back. just giving in would be so much easier. but keep talking, kali. to me, to anyone, just keep posting. we'll all try and help each other get through this. together. you cant do this all alone and neither can i. we cant do this alone. we just cant. im always here if you need to talk or just want someone to listen, even if i dont have much advice to give :console:
  3. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    It's seems to be the going rate recently, eh Kali? I'm stuck in the thick of it too. Talk to us. We'll get each other through this.
  4. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    yeah this sucks
    i am staring at more
    and i know it is a
    very bad idea
    but i recently discovered
    that it works to quell the pain
    it helps me get numb
    but i don't know what i am doing
    i do know how strong it is
    i know i have enough to do
    several ppl in that is
    not what i am trying to do at
    the moment...just trying to numb.
    but man it makes me so sick.
    ugh. i am wiped out right now.
    first time in four months i actually
    attempted...made a real attempt
    to engage with my life. ugh.
    the first two hours =anger
    the last two=crying sadness.
    then the realization that no matter
    how hard i try
    i just can't seem to walk back into it
    into my life
    i can't seem to engage with it...
    something is going to have to give.
    i have got to find a way to engage
    or i am history...whether intentionally
    taking my life or accidentally while
    attempting to numb.
    and do i do sits here and
    yells at me, yes yes...who cares if it
    is too much.

    **HUGS** for you two. i'm sorry. i
    truly am. ****HUGS****

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.