I dont know where to start. I guess ill start with my cutting. Im at it again. I cut a few minutes ago. Its the only thing that helps. I cant cope with life on its own terms. I dont know how. When I get upset I cut. When im mad I do it too. Why? I have no idea why. Its just the way I cope. Ive slowly been withdrawing from everyone. Family, friends, people from sf...wait, sf is my life. Or was. Ive slowly been fading away. My sister told me to drop dead the other day on facebook. Oh well. Feck it. Dont need her anyway. Ive changed my life too. I dont use drugs anymore. Ive moved 1500 miles away from all my family. What more can I do there. Im scared to go anywhere. Do anything. I dont talk to anyone in texas or california anymore. I sit in my room with the tele on and the lights out so I dont have to see myself or shadow. I hate looking in the mirror cos I see who I am and what I am. I hate myself. I hate what ive become. I recluse that doesnt go anywhere for fear of everything. I dont talk to anyone thats not online. I dont eat like im supposed to. I dont do anything im supposed to besides taking my meds. But what use is that when I have nothing good to look forward to.