Ugh.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by savetoniqht, Jun 30, 2010.

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  1. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    Just wanna die so badly right now. I know this is a really pointless thread (kind of like my existence. Shit.) but I just don't know what to do. I just need this to end. Sorry this is so useless.
     
  2. Surely Not

    Surely Not Well-Known Member

    Don't be sorry. Never be afriad to express your feelings, especially with us.

    Do you want to speak about what's going on right now?
     
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Mel. Why do you want to die so badly? Death is an eventual part of all of our lives, so why the need to rush it? Your existence is not pointless, even though it may seem that way to you right now. You're here to experience various aspects of this world, otherwise you would have never been born. What's causing you so much pain? :hug:
     
  4. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    :/ thanks. I don't know exactly what's going on, just really depressed right now. I already cut sooo I guess I don't have to worry about beating that urge. I'm being really unhelpful now and I'm sure making it difficult to have anything to say in response. I just don't know what to do I don't want to be alive right now.
     
  5. Surely Not

    Surely Not Well-Known Member

    While cutting is not necessarily the best thing to do, it's a lot better than ending your life. I'm very glad that you haven't.

    Depression is very difficult. Have you done anything to combat it?
     
  6. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    :hug: You may feel like that now but it will pass. Just hang on till it does. Feel free to pm me if you would like to talk ok? :hugtackles:
     
  7. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    Yeah, it's definitely better than killing myself but I wish I didn't need it. :/ and I've never really been diagnosed with depression or anything... I've only been in treatment for my eating disorder. I don't know if I like have depression, but I definitely feel depressed. I just don't want to be alive at all right now. :(
     
  8. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    Thanks :) I know it will pass because it always does, but then it comes back just as bad and hurts just as much. Thank you for taking time to respond though... Just knowing a few people care enough to take the time to tell me to hold on helps. :hug:
     
  9. Surely Not

    Surely Not Well-Known Member

    Depression goes along with eating disorders a lot of the time.

    I understand you; I feel the same, but just posting in this forum shows that you want to get help, that you want to talk to someone.

    Is there anything (aside from self injury) that makes you feel better when you're feeling depressed?
     
  10. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Mel- you matter. Get used to people caring my friend because you have found the place to be when you are needing a friend. I agree with Dave N; death happens regardless, and unbeknowest to you at the moment,as all the people here. We all share a very important role in the scheme of things. Do not give up, and stop punishing yourself. I too used to do this. It was easier to deal with pain than the emotional pain inside. Stop holding onto either. You can give it to someone who can take it all away. It is purely up to you. Blessings..
     
  11. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    Hey, I missed your post somehow, thank you for taking the time to respond, again it means a lot. I know everything you're saying- hell I'm sure I've given the same advice- but its so hard to think of it that way now. I feel like it's just so hard to be happy, because even when this feeling goes away it comes back, whether it's because of food, urges, or just random. It's just hitting me hard now I don't know :(
     
  12. Surely Not

    Surely Not Well-Known Member

    Do you have any other coping methods?

    Reading, writing, exercising?

    Talking about it can help, but sometimes distracting yourself until the feeling passes can help, too.
     
  13. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member


    Yeah I know it does, it just sucks. :( I know I'd probably be much happier right now if I'd just go out with my friends, but I just cant do it. That's what usually makes me happy. I'm just watching tv and being on here now, trying not to think about things and failing miserably.
     
  14. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    Thanks :) your support is really helping right now. I cant even express in words how much I appreciate it.
     
  15. Surely Not

    Surely Not Well-Known Member

    Being by yourself is definitely not a good thing when you're feeling suicidal.
    Keep talking to us, then. Don't leave until you're completely certain you're not going to do anything.
     
  16. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I actually recently got out of an inpatient facility for my ED so I heard about coping mechanisms all day every day. Exercising is my biggest coping mechanism but I kind of have issues with overexercising soo that kind of sucks. Thank you though, just getting support on here is really helping. I've been on here for a while and never felt like I've gotten as much support as now, so thank you all. I'm still feeling pretty awful but a little better...
     
  17. Surely Not

    Surely Not Well-Known Member

    So did I. It was COPING METHODS COPING METHODS COPING METHODS all of the time.

    You're welcome. I'm feeling really awful, so I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep for a while, so I'll probably be on for a while to talk to you.
     
  18. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member


    Thanks... And I'm sorry you're feeling awful :( feel free to PM me if you want to vent or anything. :hug:
     
  19. Surely Not

    Surely Not Well-Known Member

    Thank you, I might. <3 I don't want to talk about my problems while you're dealing with yours, though. That's not always helpful.

    What happened during your stay for your eating disorder? Did it help?
     
  20. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    No seriously, feel free... You're dealing with mine while you feel awful! Being in ip helped a bit, but I'm not sure anything will ever do much more than that.
     
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