Ugh

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Lambikin, Feb 3, 2011.

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  1. Lambikin

    Lambikin Member

    God dammit. God dammit. I hate myself so much. I've never felt such intense hatred for another human being as I for the worthless pile of shit that I call myself. I have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I'm disgusting to look at, I have a needy, clingy personality. The only reason someone would want to be around me is because they feel sorry for me and they're shocked that one person could be as worthless and useless as I am. Even this post is a disgusting ploy for attention and I hate myself for it.

    My life is a JOKE. Everything I care about is meaningless. Why the fuck am I even alive? I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve to eat or drink. Today all I've had is a drink of Vitamin Water in a moment of weakness.

    I wish I could die. I really do. But I'm too weak to do it. Too weak to allow myself to feel the pain. I fail at everything, even suicide.

    God dammit.
     
  2. Stormrider

    Stormrider Well-Known Member

    Life is never a joke, it can be painfull as hell, but we need to hope things can get better, even if it takes a long time.

    Be angry and hate things about your life if you need to, it's normal
    But don't hate yourself, especially not for things that other people think or say about you.
     
  3. Seems_Perfect

    Seems_Perfect Well-Known Member

    After reading your post I have 2 thoughts...

    1) You're braver than you give yourself credit for.
    2) You're stronger than you give yourself credit for.

    I say you're brave b/c anyone I've ever met who quotes that Psalms verse turns out to be a person of bravery b/c they've put their fears in perspective. Also, I say you're strong b/c of your will to ignore food/water except in the most dire of circumstances (you decided to drink something probably b/c you really needed the fluids and there is nothing at all weak about that).

    Point is you have certain qualities that shine through even online. Believe me, I've known people in person for years who have never demonstrated the qualities that you did over the internet in just a few words. Hope you feel better today.
     
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