Ugh

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by MadeOfGlass, Feb 25, 2011.

  1. MadeOfGlass

    MadeOfGlass Well-Known Member

    I hate being the one in charge.
    And I can't say enough how it drives me crazy trying to be the adult of the family, being the glue to keep us together.
    If I had the energy, I'd be bouncing off the walls, raging mad, cursing like a sailor that this is how things go.
    I'd be sobbing and crying and hysterical that I always get stuck with the short end of the stick.
    But....I'm not.
    I'm too damn tired.
    I feel broken and defeated.
    I'll put on the smile, I'll continue being the one making sure everyone in the family is okay.
    Because that's the only way I can get through the next three years until I graduate and move out.
    I don't want to, but that's the way things go.
    Does it even get better after I leave?
    Will it even be worth it in the end?
     
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I'm so sorry, Sarah
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I too am sorry you have to be the adult when you need to have your own freedom it does get better when you move out on your own with your own space it does hugs to you
     
  4. ema

    ema Antiquities Friend

    oh, sweets, i'm so sorry you are going through this. you should be having the time of your life, not keeping others' lives in order. you deserve so much more!!!

    it does get better when you get on your own. my own issues stayed, but the relief from being out of the loony house helped me survive. just make sure you draw your boudaries and stick to them. plan now!

    you know the epcot done? i've learned to build one of those around myself whenever i'm dealing with family. that way, no matter what angle they come at me, they can't get in. it shines right back off. it doesn't make it any less tedious, but it helps the soul.

    you know i adore you and :wub: you! many, many :duck: :hug: to my sweet girl!!
     
  5. MadeOfGlass

    MadeOfGlass Well-Known Member

    I'm trying, but I can't deal with this.
    I never asked for any of this, when did I agree to this????
    Let me go let me go. :cry:
     
  6. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    You never agreed to any of this....

    But that does not mean that death is the only way to let you go....

    Feel free to PM me should you need to talk

    Much love
    Chris
     
  7. InTheMatrix

    InTheMatrix Active Member

    Sarah <3 I'm so sorry you have to go through this. If I could take any of this pain on myself I would. I'm always here for you, pm me or talk to me on fb whenever you need to, I'll always make time.
     
  8. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Things can get better Sarah :hug: Stay strong and try to get the support you need. You don't have to do this all alone. Find a friend, someone.. anyone you can talk to and trust about these issues. At some point you will break if you don't..

    Just keep talking to us and know we are here and care about you!

    Take care hun.. We all :wub: you!
     
  9. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Sarah...dear Sarah...you have so many gifts and are so wonderful that when you can get out, you will have so much to look forward to...please do not let them convince you otherwise...they are fools if they do not see how precious you are...big hugs and much caring, J
     
  10. MadeOfGlass

    MadeOfGlass Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys :wub:

    I really don't know right now. Nothing is gonna change until I either get out of here, or tell someone what's going on. And that's the truth that I need to deal with. Just hard because I know I'm not getting out soon, and I'm not going to tell anyone.

    I don't know. My head isn't working right.
     
  11. spiritxfade

    spiritxfade Well-Known Member

    Sarah <3 You're amazing and sweet and wonderful. You shouldn't have to be the adult of your family. Things will get better.

    :hug:

    stay safe, okay? I'm here for you.