I know this won't mean much to you, but I am glad you are stil around. I am glad that you weren't able to swallow enough pills, and that you are here to keep fighting. I know that not being able to do so probably made you feel worse, and I am sorry to hear that, but please just keep trying. I understand that it feels pointless, that right now you feel as if nothing can ever get better again, and so you what is the point in trying. But I believe you can get through this. Keep posting here, let us try and help you, you can PM me any time you need to offload and talk. Are you on any medication to elevate your mood slightly? If not maybe this is something you could look into? They don't help everybody but they help a lot of people. And if are currently on some, clearly they aren't working for you, would it be possible to ask for a review of your medication?
Please take care. :hug: