ughh... why me?

Hello,

I'm having a really hard time right now. About 5 years ago I had a really bad concussion, and then 2 years later I was in a car accident and had yet another one. I've been diagnosed with PCS (post concussion syndrome), and I feel like absolute crap and have been for quite a while. To make matters worse, I also have DPD (Depersonalization Disorder). So not only am I doing terrible physically, but I'm doing terrible psychologically as well. I've been trying to get into see a psych doctor, but my insurance is making this into a retarded issue and so I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this.

Anyways, if you research anything about PCS, the diagnosis is not good, and with all the expectations I feel that are on me at this time in my life, I just feel like I can't go on. Or, like I don't really want... I woke up this morning wishing I hadn't and I've been feeling that way for some time. I just wish I had actually not made it through the car accident...

I look at other people around me who seem relatively happy and I wonder, what the... you know what... did i do? Why am I the only one that seems to be having such a hard time with life. I realize there are a lot of people, especially on here, that feel the same, but none of my friends seem to be this way... I just hate it...

 

i hope you can get in to see a therapist and a doctor to help you emotionally
There are new meds and treatments out every year that can improve your outlook of the future so don't give up okay hugs

 

yeah, I understand the feeling. life often seems so incredibly unfair.


for me its become necessary to believe in karma or some sort of guarantee of justice in the universe

I think in some versions at least, bad things may happen to you even if you don't deserve them, but eventually good things come to you, though I think they believe it can take more than one lifetime.

I don't think anyone understands or can prove what life is all about. it all makes little sense to me.