Okay so I found this forum when I search about suicide. Well, I'm in collage now and has not been come to collage for more than one year because of my social anxiety. My parents didnt know that. I'm in edge of drop out. I feel that place isnt the place I belong. I dont have any friend and cant see any future for me... I hate myself who keep avoiding everyone and cant talk to anyone. I'm thinking about suicide a lot but I keep imagine how my mother will face if I die. I know she love me and I really such a failure that cant bring her to a happiness. I cant talk to her about my problem because she will panic and probably cry... I want to be strong, I'm thinking about going back to collage in few days but I'm afraid what people will think about me. Where I have been? Why I avoiding them? I'm so afraid that I can't stop crying every night silently alone... I'm sorry my english isnt good. But I need to dump this thought somewhere and make myself feel better.