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Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Ahism, Feb 24, 2010.

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  1. Ahism

    Ahism Member

    Hi.
    I'm 15 and I'm not enjoying life. I come from a upper/middle class family with a decent amount of money. I attended private school until I was accepted into a school for academically advanced students. I get mediocre grades and my parents are always breathing down my neck. I also have an honesty problem where I can never tell them the truth about school. I hate that and I realized I hate myself as a person. I've considered suicide for a long long time; I'm also clinically depressed. I started reading stories about people who were abused as children, sexually and physically, and I thought "Wow, what douche I am. Wanting to end my life when people around me have been to hell and back. I sit in my sheltered schools pretending it doesn't exist". I make myself sick and I don't see myself worthy of life. I've done research on effective suicide methods and have found numerous ones that fit my preferences. I have thought about the effects it would have on my family, but... why haven't they talked to me about it. The medication I am taking is obviously not enough I have cracked numerous times in crying fits. I don't know. I expect too much from people and life. I expect things to come easy to me and I keep getting slapped in the face with the reality that I'm not good enough. and that I never will be.
     
  2. twc

    twc Well-Known Member

    You are still very young. I'm sure you hear that a lot...because it's true. Your relationship with your parents sounds pretty bad, like you don't trust them with the truth. And high-pressure private schools can make problems worse as you are supposed to be perfect. This is all familiar to me. Take a step back and look at things from an imaginary older self. What would your older self say to your younger self in order to help and comfort you? Remember that this time of a person's life is one of the most difficult emotionally. You can't always compare yourself to everyone else...sometimes you just have to be who you are. Good luck...look for kind people around you and reach for them...
     
  3. Ahism

    Ahism Member

    Thank you for your wisdom.
     
  4. twc

    twc Well-Known Member

    I hope you are feeling a little better!
     
  5. Ahism

    Ahism Member

    uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, just alot of time of talking to my parents, an hour and a half in guidance, and a particularly emotional meeting with my psychiatrist. Naw, I don't feel any better. I should though, my parents love me and my life is easy. What else could someone ask for?
     
  6. sethwalters88

    sethwalters88 Member

    Life could be a lot worse. I'm not gunna go into my story just for the sake of taking up space and I'm only 17:/
     
  7. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    It's not your fault that you feel this way. Depression is an illness, not a choice. No matter how 'good' someone's life is, they can be depressed. You shouldn't feel guilty for something you have no control over.
     
  8. Ahism

    Ahism Member

    Well, that's why I feel so shitty about myself. I have a good life and I can't put it to use.
     
  9. LSD

    LSD Well-Known Member

    dont compare your life with other people lives
    there is no.. "who suffered the most" fight
    we all go throw things different
    i have seen people with bad past and all.. fighting for a better future and that makes me feel useless..but then i remmeber.. im just me
    i go throw pain in different way that those people
    the thing is that they got up
    so you gotta do the same thing

    there is a still bright future for you
    you just have to go throw little steps
    do the things you like to do.. no matter what your parents think
    dont think about your grades being bad..
    at least you passed :p .. is something.. just go little by little

    and about your parents.... mm i guess most of use have a sucky relation with their parents
    i barely talk with mine
    but they just do what they think (.. in their little brains..) is right
    but eh.. you cant hate them because of that either
    parenting doesnt come with instruction
    they make their own rules
    even they dont realise how much they are screwing up our lives

    .. hope i was of a little help

    and just go throw it!!! i knwo you are strong
    little by little! take the small steps
     
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