Hi. I'm 15 and I'm not enjoying life. I come from a upper/middle class family with a decent amount of money. I attended private school until I was accepted into a school for academically advanced students. I get mediocre grades and my parents are always breathing down my neck. I also have an honesty problem where I can never tell them the truth about school. I hate that and I realized I hate myself as a person. I've considered suicide for a long long time; I'm also clinically depressed. I started reading stories about people who were abused as children, sexually and physically, and I thought "Wow, what douche I am. Wanting to end my life when people around me have been to hell and back. I sit in my sheltered schools pretending it doesn't exist". I make myself sick and I don't see myself worthy of life. I've done research on effective suicide methods and have found numerous ones that fit my preferences. I have thought about the effects it would have on my family, but... why haven't they talked to me about it. The medication I am taking is obviously not enough I have cracked numerous times in crying fits. I don't know. I expect too much from people and life. I expect things to come easy to me and I keep getting slapped in the face with the reality that I'm not good enough. and that I never will be.