uk advice please, where to turn?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BusterB, Mar 6, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. BusterB

    BusterB Member

    Im not sure what to do now, i cant bare sitting in my room anymore. I want to get up and leave but there seems to be no options.

    I cant go abroad cause my passport runs out in a week and i only have 2k saved up and that would run out quickly. so id end up back home, minus the money ive saved.

    i cant wake up another day here and spend the day doing nothing, there is nothing i can do, im waiting to move back to manchester, as if its going to be some magical cure. only thing it will mean is i can drink more and can easily get illegal drugs, which will help me escape the reality of my life. tho on pills/weed etc my existance is just tolerable, just. tho it always ends in pity and tears cause i know in my heart of hearts im not meant to be here anymore.

    i could get in my car and drive upto scotland or somewhere, but then what? sit in my car and drink and sleep, then waht about the next day?

    i have no friends to goto, no real friends at all.

    i live with my parents and gran and each day is a struggle to appear 'ok' and get on with stuff. get up, smoke, drink coffee, sit about all day.

    i just want to go off teh rails and do something, anything. ive done a google search about trying to "section" myself but it returns nothing useful. even if i did, what do they do apart from keep an eye on me while i do nothing, bored to tears just minus the drink and smoking.

    what are my options? id kill myself in a split second if i could, but i cant cause of my mother.

    so where do i go and waht do i do? been to the dr once again, she is basically giving up on me i think. she wont give me valium or codein. all she wants to do is refer me to alcohol and drug therapy, who can be fucked with that? there is no point, i know ihave problems and i dont need to talk about them, there is no solution to them apart from me leaving, which i cant do till my mum passes, but saying that tears me up. my step dad says im better off in a box.

    so is that it? im meant to sit and drink and cut myself till something works out? i ask god for help and nothing happens, he's given up on me too. cant blame him, im a total waste of time.

    do i have to just goto hospital and check in? what good will it do, ultimately?

    i wake up, drink brandy, take painkillers, sleep, wake up, cry, cry ,cry, think about all the potential i had which ive ruined, think about all the ex's who i loved who gave up on me.

    what would you do if you were me? and dont give me any of this go for a walk, read a book bullshit, i can barely turn on the computer and play with all my expensive toys, it all means nothign to me, nothing.

    today i drove round derbyshire in my shitty old car full of rust, sat alone on the cliff edge wondering how did i turn out like this, wishing my sister hadn't of passed...if she hadnt i wouldnt of been born. what a total shame, a total waste of life.

    nothing nothing never ever will end this deep hole inside my soul, this horrible empty feeling of indifferance to everybody. i have so many talents, but none i could make a career of. i left a drama school that most people would give there right hand to be at, im no good at it. Im so tired of breathing and thinking i wish i could just release it all.

    what can i do? this is not a sympathy vote or cry for help. i justdont know where to turn. my mum is suffering and getting ill cause of my unhapiness, it makes her worse, so i cant talk about how i feel. i have to deal with everybodys shit all the time, pretend im ok so they are ok, im not ok, i think about how i want to die every hour of every day. all the dr can say is the drinking stops the AD's working, well no shit sherlock, ill just stop drinking then yea? yea dead easy, what shall i do instead? idont want to do anything else unless it alters my mindset and releases me a little.

    ive had 2 bottles of wine, half of brandy and 4 500mg codamol, so least i can now vent a little, but tomorrow its another day and when i wake up at 2pm first thing i will think about is ' how do i go on today?'

    what are my options?
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi. you did find one option . . reaching out for help

    and this is a good place to be

    there are tons of people here from the u.k. . i am in canada and heading back to the states soon..
    so. . .
    if you stay here at s.f. (it saved my life...) you will find support , and complete acceptance. ..
    pm me if you want to talk
    and we all care about you xxxxx
  3. BusterB

    BusterB Member

    reality is nobody really gives an ass about anyone else. poeple lie, cheat and betray you and once they have what they want, they leave.

    i have no faith in any people in my life anymore. i have no option left now. i cant even sleep now. went to bed at 9am, woke up at 1pm, still feel drunk. rapidly running out of options. why cant we just flick a switch and turn off?
  4. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Hi there,

    I re-read your post a couple of times as I wasn't really sure what to write here.

    I don't think going abroad or even coming up to Scotland would be very beneficial for you at the moment.

    You say you went to the Dr & they referred you to therapy but you couldn't be fucked with that. What's stopping you from trying it? You admit you have problems but you don't want to talk about them, sadly if you keep everything bottled up then you're not likely to get better. Everyone needs to talk, even if it's just on here & not in real life.

    We are here to listen to you if you want.

    Take care, Claire xx
  5. GammaRae

    GammaRae Active Member

    Hi, I'm not in the UK but I'm replying because I felt like two of the replies you got weren't helpful at all really and one was down right insensitive.

    In the US if you want to be put inpatient all you have to do is go to a regular hospital emergency center. If you tell them, "I have addiction problems and I think I'm going to kill myself. I want help." I'm sure they would help put you in an appropriate place to get help for a bit, I can't imagine the system being so very different in the uk. If you want to section yourself I would recommend going to a regular hospital and just telling them this and see what happens from there.

    Also if you called one of the suicide hotlines and told them you were at risk for killing yourself and wanted to go inpatient I'm sure they'd be able to help you figure out what to do too.

    I also agree with one previous reply. Whats so bad about therapy or drug treatment? Have you have tried it and do you really have anything to lose by doing so? It sounds like you at least need someone to talk to and thats all therapy really is anyway...

    If you'd like a friend feel free to pm me or aim ( GammaRaeShine ) me. Good luck.
  6. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member


    In the UK it is extremely difficult to get sectioned.

    Fair enough the post above yours wasn't exactly supportive & the other 2 replies are from myself & mdmefontaine. Both in my opinion are supportive & I feel that it's unfair of you to say that they weren't helpful especially as you agree with my point about therapy.

    Edit - The post that was above Rae's has been removed.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 7, 2009
  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    To be honest, I too am not sure what you're asking for and I'm sorry about that.

    It is hard to be voluntarily admitted to psych wards, and you are not allowed to section yourself (because that is an involuntary admission), and being sectioning is something that happens as a last case scenario, when they feel there is no other option. It really depends on your local area and local psych ward, as well as the person assessing you, as to whether or not they will admit you.

    If you feel a danger to yourself, try going to A&E and explaining how you feel. They may be able to offer some help. You could also try calling NHS Direct on 0845 46 47 and explaining how bad you feel.

    It also sounds like you feel you need to live somewhere away from where you do (but I may have misunderstood, so if I have, please disregard this). I would suggest going to your local Citizens Advice Bureau and explaining the situation and that you feel you need some housing help and see if they can offer you any support, or point you in the right direction. If you are 13-19 then you can contact Connexions Direct and discuss all those issues with them too.

    I also just want to ask, do you have anything to lose by trying those treatments? Especially when you feel so desperate already?

    I'm sorry if my post has been very unhelpful, so if no one here has managed to give you the support you were looking for please tell us what it is you need so that we may be able to help more.
  8. justafool

    justafool Well-Known Member

    It's clear to me that you are feeling completely BLOCKED. You look at all the different roads that you could take and none of them appeal to you.

    For the moment, it might be best to not do anything at all. You can sit still and attempt to think clearly and try to see your situation in a way that has escaped you before. You can drink a little to numb yourself if necessary. Whatever gets you through the night.

    Is there a way to get acting back in your life? You need to express yourself abundantly - both onstage and off.

    Let people in the real world know how miserable you are. They don't have to enjoy hearing it. That doesn't matter. What matters is that you are no longer silent.
  9. Troubled2008

    Troubled2008 Well-Known Member

    Man you are again... A victim of the supposed "God's will." You seem to have the values of the fake gods AKA all the major religions. Try to get in touch with the real gods.......... They all, IMO, laugh at the major religions........ morality will always be real to them... but not in the way that you currently think about it. You are placing too much value on wortheless humans and not enough value on the power of money--- Money will free you. Stop the drugs and alcohol and get rich.. Money will cure you. If I'm wrong, please come find me and like....... look me in the eyes.... Money will cure you of the fake crap and fake morality
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.