Um... on the edge, here.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LilDarling, Apr 15, 2008.

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  1. LilDarling

    LilDarling Member

    Hi... I just want to vent a little bit, if I can.

    In all honesty, I'm almost sure that I'll be dead soon. Summer is coming up in a few months, and summer's are the worst time for me. Mostly because I'm away from my friends more than I am during school... and I'm almost sure that I'm not going to survive the summer.

    I seriously am nothing without my friends...

    It's already tough as it is now.

    I know this sounds kind of stupid... but I really don't know if I have a reason for being depressed. I think it's more biological than anything.

    I have some issues with being alone. Sometimes I need to be alone, but today for instance, I had to walk across the school yard... and I started shaking, and asked my friend to come with me. He said no, that I was just walking across the yard, and I asked him again. He kind of picked up on my panic, and came across the yard with me. Then when I got to the stair case, I had to walk up about five stairs, get something, and walk back down, and I could barely handle doing that without him there.

    It's like... there are moments when I seriously can't be alone. At school, my friends stay with me during those moments, but at home, I have to force myself to the phone to call one of them. I have to force myself because if I didn't call, I'd probably either try to kill myself or cut my arm to shreads, and there's barely any room left on my arms to cut.

    I feel terrible for putting my friends through this shit, too. It's not fair to them.

    Anyway, if I make it to the end of the school year, I HIGHLY doubt I'll make it through the summer without multiple hospitalizations... if my attempts fail.
  2. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    I kind of went through the same issue during a particular highschool summer, although it doesn't sound as bad as yours:sad:There isn't anyway you could occupy yourself this summer?

    (you can PM me anytime you need someone to talk too)
  3. I usually go to a summer camp with my friends,those are the best times of the year,remember to make pictures and look back:wink:
  4. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

    Try this(I know it can be hard),

    Organize a few parties or trips to the movies over the summer with your friends. That way you'll will have something to look forward to. Also call them up every once in a while.

    Summer Camp is another good idea.

    You can PM me(I know I'm a new member) if you need someone to talk to.
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