Hi... I just want to vent a little bit, if I can. In all honesty, I'm almost sure that I'll be dead soon. Summer is coming up in a few months, and summer's are the worst time for me. Mostly because I'm away from my friends more than I am during school... and I'm almost sure that I'm not going to survive the summer. I seriously am nothing without my friends... It's already tough as it is now. I know this sounds kind of stupid... but I really don't know if I have a reason for being depressed. I think it's more biological than anything. I have some issues with being alone. Sometimes I need to be alone, but today for instance, I had to walk across the school yard... and I started shaking, and asked my friend to come with me. He said no, that I was just walking across the yard, and I asked him again. He kind of picked up on my panic, and came across the yard with me. Then when I got to the stair case, I had to walk up about five stairs, get something, and walk back down, and I could barely handle doing that without him there. It's like... there are moments when I seriously can't be alone. At school, my friends stay with me during those moments, but at home, I have to force myself to the phone to call one of them. I have to force myself because if I didn't call, I'd probably either try to kill myself or cut my arm to shreads, and there's barely any room left on my arms to cut. I feel terrible for putting my friends through this shit, too. It's not fair to them. Anyway, if I make it to the end of the school year, I HIGHLY doubt I'll make it through the summer without multiple hospitalizations... if my attempts fail.