Well hey guys, I am Amanda and I am 15. I just joined up here cause well, I googled suicide forums and this was the first one that came up. Thought it sounded good. Well a bit about myself.... I have been depressed for over 3 years. Its a long story so I will just give the short version. I had a best friend for 10 years. Since we were both 2. I was totally in love with her. Although I didnt really realise it till it was too late. She started ignoring me one day and to this day I still have no idea what happened. I cant even speak her name. So then I moved to my dads when it was time to go to high school, I couldnt bare to be at the same school as her. I hated it at my dads though so after ayear I moved back but stayed at the other high school. I started cutting in 2007 but then stopped after about a month. Then I started again at the start of 2008 and didnt stop for about 7 months. I was cutting basically every single day. I have been to a stupid school social worker, a doctor that didnt even do anything, a counsellor that was totally lame, a psychologist, a psychiatrist but the longest time I ever saw someone and kept seeing them was a school counsellor and it was for like 2 months. I am not that good at commiting to things. I am currently not talking to anyone about my problems. I am also currently extremely kinda suicidal and have been for a while. I was last year too. I nearly did try to kill myself once but just had a massive emotional break down instead. I just want to be like the other kids. So if anyone has any advice or wants to tell me about how stuff works on the forum and their stories then go right ahead.. Thanks for reading anyways, Amanda.