Life dosnt seem to have much to offer me. I have to go out and get it that enjoyment. Happiness. And sometimes that dosnt work out the way I imagine/hoped it be. Im am the nicest person in the world, so much I get taken advantage of. Wtf is that offering me. I just dont know what to do anymore. false hope consumes me. I have this delissional idea that its going to get better or change. so good deeds bite you in the ass whenever possible. Who the hell wants that. Im think about doing doing something stupid. Wouldn't make a difference anyway cause I probably wont find peace there either. I just hope i go in my sleep, not suffering in pain, and no time to ask got for forgivness. I dont think ive had peace or solitude. I have anxiety, anger, depression well graduated to bi plor and bpd, ptsd. As far back as 8 freaking years old. that makes it almost 30 years. Ive always done the right thing. I wasn't a problem child. I cant take anything serious anymore. I expext the worst but never think about expecting anything to come out good. Its just not in my dictionary anymore. And Hey it will be one less person putting America further in debt.