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UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE

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Aurelia

I can't eradicate what awakes when I awake.
#1
I wake up today, and my husband is gone. No note, no nothing. Just fucking disappeared. I'm not fucking stable at all and pissed beyond belief.
 

gypsylee

SF Supporter
#2
I wake up today, and my husband is gone. No note, no nothing. Just fucking disappeared. I'm not fucking stable at all and pissed beyond belief.
I arrived here just in time for this. Does he always write a note or something? Or are things gone that suggest he's gone somewhere other than the shop? I'm always amazed when men *do* let you know wtf they're doing.
 

Aurelia

I can't eradicate what awakes when I awake.
#3
He's never just left in the middle of the night/morning/ or when the fuck ever it is he left, without saying anything to begin with. But I would have hoped, if he did, he'd at least leave a fucking note. Looks like that was too much to ask for. whatever the fuck was on his mind, seems it was pre-fucking-planned.
 

Aurelia

I can't eradicate what awakes when I awake.
#5
I hate that fucking asshole. I'm not going to forgive him for this shit. He can eat a dick if he thinks otherwise.
 

Aurelia

I can't eradicate what awakes when I awake.
#6
Or are things gone that suggest he's gone somewhere other than the shop?
Yeah, no, definitely not the store. If he did all this, then chances are someone's getting something they deserve right about now and this is his fucked up way of 'protecting me' from it--by giving me a panic attack first thing in the morning. I can think of two things he'd be doing actually. But nevertheless, doing this...nah, fuck that. I'm done. Can't deal with it anymore.
 

Aurelia

I can't eradicate what awakes when I awake.
#8
I don't know why I put this under Suicidal Thoughts. I'm not suicidal, just fucking enraged. Though, granted, that could change with the way I am, who knows.
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Seeing is Believing
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#9
Insensitive sod he is being. For the time being remind yourself it is beyond your control. Nothing you can do but make the best out of it for the day. Any complicated stuff you want to distract yourself with? I am thinking of food as of late like a 7 layered rainbow cake with rainbow fondue. Just for decoration purposes. Then throw it at him when he walks into the door *just kidding*
 
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Aurelia

I can't eradicate what awakes when I awake.
#10
Insensitive sod he is being. For the time being remind yourself it is beyond your control. Nothing you can do but make the best out of it for the day. Any complicated stuff you want to distract yourself with? I am thinking of food as of late like a 7 layered rainbow cake with rainbow fondue. Just for decoration purposes. Then throw it at him when he walks into the door *just kidding*
I truly think he fucking enjoys it when I'm in distress over his whereabouts. And if I act like I'm 'too calm' he reaches new heights of asshole-ishness to make sure that's not the case. There's no other plausible explanation for why shit like this keeps happening. The last time he disappeared, when he finally called, he said, "I'm worried because usually you're freaking out and you sound fine right now." So it would seem that I'm not allowed to be 'fine'. And if I am, he'll do his best to make sure that changes.
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Seeing is Believing
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SF Supporter
#11
Its not cool whatsoever nor fair to you. I do wonder if those tracker thingies do work.....the small device we see in movies attached to phones or cars and the CSI team tracks the suspect to their hideouts? I know apple have find your stuff with their product app like iphones etc.
 

gypsylee

SF Supporter
#12
I don't know why I put this under Suicidal Thoughts. I'm not suicidal, just fucking enraged. Though, granted, that could change with the way I am, who knows.
Go the rage! Seriously, the other day I went into anger mode and I ended up doing some really productive things. Well you sort of need to go from anger mode to this more rational mode, but it's still angry. I don't know how to explain it really but it's way better than anxious or depressed.
 

Aurelia

I can't eradicate what awakes when I awake.
#13
I allow myself to get manipulated by this asshole constantly. And forgive it constantly. God, what the fuck was I even thinking getting into this relationship??

"Marrying a sociopathic dick seems like a good idea."

I'm a fucking idiot.
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Seeing is Believing
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#17
I allow myself to get manipulated by this asshole constantly. And forgive it constantly. God, what the fuck was I even thinking getting into this relationship??

"Marrying a sociopathic dick seems like a good idea."

I'm a fucking idiot.
You are not an idiot. There are some positive aspects of him you saw in him and gave him a chance that many wouldnt have done. You were the brave one taking the risk knowing you are strong enough to ride out the storms to your liking. Part of you like that sailing through unpredictible sea, its call is strong when the storm hits. The quiet calm sea for months might have you bored stiff with any other guy.

Got to work in 2.5 hours -_- catching up on my sleep

Cheers! YOU got this.
 

Aurelia

I can't eradicate what awakes when I awake.
#18
Now you just have to think having a kid with a sociopath is a good idea. That’s when things get REALLY interesting.
Lol, nah, I'm good. Things are already 'interesting' enough as it is. I don't think I can deal with things getting any more 'interesting' at this point.

Jesus, with one parent having Avoidant/Borderline PD, and the other having PTSD, DID, and being a sociopathic lunatic, that'd be one fucked up kid. Yeah...no. Lol. Not happening.
 

Aurelia

I can't eradicate what awakes when I awake.
#19
You are not an idiot. There are some positive aspects of him you saw in him and gave him a chance that many wouldnt have done. You were the brave one taking the risk knowing you are strong enough to ride out the storms to your liking. Part of you like that sailing through unpredictible sea, its call is strong when the storm hits. The quiet calm sea for months might have you bored stiff with any other guy.

Got to work in 2.5 hours -_- catching up on my sleep

Cheers! YOU got this.
This is overkill, though. I deal with constant fucking melodrama on a daily basis. You're right that I can't do 'boring'. But there has to be some sort of middle ground because this is too much. Whatever I saw in him once that was good, it seems I was severely mistaken because I don't think I'm all that important to him. How can I be, if he keeps doing this?
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Seeing is Believing
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#20
What outcome do you want to see from this issue with him?

Yes rough storm 24/7 for months to end is an overkill...theres always calmer times in between. I should have proofread what I was trying to say... blame it on: I needed more sleep. My apologies lol
 
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