I dont expect any replies, I am writing this in the hope that it helps me move on. I have never really healed from it. I have been suffering for 5 years from what I went through, unable to move on. I always have blamed myself for what I went through, it has to be my fault, I shouldn't have been so naive. I was 17, I had barely experienced anything in life. I was going to visit my bf at the time, when I had gotten myself lost. Two men were kind enough to help me, well that was what I thought, they walked with me, they even carried my bag, but nothing ever came across in a wrong way. they led me to an abandoned car park, saying it was a shortcut, Something wasnt right, I tried to get my bag back and get away, when they hit me. they took turns to rape me at knife point. I never went to the police, didnt tell my bf at the time, I was too afraid to. Just held it inside, kept it away from everyone. it was all I could do. I never really have closed it off in my mind. Really just need to find some way of getting out of the pain I am putting myself into.