Unable to speak

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Terra, Apr 26, 2010.

  1. Terra

    Terra Well-Known Member

    *wonders if somebody else have it like this too*

    Every time I get pressured or get in a uncomfortable situation my voice locks and I can't say what I want...
    This have gotten me into some bad situations;
    I was unable to say no when a stranger I had only known for less than a day wanted to have sex,
    I was unable to say no when someone I didn't like asked me if I liked him, so I was together with him for 8months feeling nothin but disgust and irritation. Only reason I got out was because he started doing drugs and I used it as an excuse to leave him. (litteraly the day he started)
    I've never told anyone what I feel, and then I mean anyone. This is my first rant ever and I want to delete it.

    I feel it's my fault for not being "brave" enough, or taking critisizme too harsh, yet I know from experience that since those around me have hurt me so bad with what they said, i can't say anythin to them since they might get hurt the same way.
  2. lonercarrot

    lonercarrot Well-Known Member

    A lot of times I just go along with people when they ask me something.. Especially with co workers. I end up doing the work of a lot of people because I find it's hard to refuse them if they ask.
    But It's shocking you couldn't say no to someones sexual advances. Even if you can't use your voice, can't you shake your head or something. Or give an excuse and say you had a std?
  3. Terra

    Terra Well-Known Member

    I decided that It was my own fault for talking to the guy in the first place, and had been broken pretty down on the whole "self-decision" thing a year earlier. I knew what was happening, but I didn't want to dissapoint anyone, even people I don't care about.
  4. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

  5. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I feel similar to this quite often too. I find it hard to let people down and say no because it might hurt them or make them sad. I don't want them thinking bad of me so I let them use me for whatever they want to. It isn't as bad as your situation though. D:

    I don't really have any advice to give, as I know how hard it can be to reject/deny someone. I just hope you don't get into any similar situations again. :hug:
  6. Terra

    Terra Well-Known Member

    Thx guys.
    I've learned abit, and gotten better. I probably won't let it go as far, but I can't know as I care about people, and even if they care about me, they still have their own needs too.
    I can't speak up, but heck, atleast I won't let myself get manipulated and think that they are more worthy
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I know what you're saying about not speaking up because you don't want to hurt people...I was like that my whole life but am now learning to say no politely..everyone else seems to be able to say no to me so now it's time for me....
    Have you ever had cognitive behaviour therapy?..I highly recommend it...:hug: