unbelievable info from cops/Devs newest crisis

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by kittyD, Jun 8, 2008.

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  1. kittyD

    kittyD Well-Known Member

    Before I get into what is making me insanely angry, I want to make clear that I'm very well aware of the fact of my daughters [Devon] state of mind and we are working with the drs in dealing with the situation and its ramifications.
    This post is about what I'm running into with the cops and how its making me see red.
    Ok, friday night Dev was at a friends place for the night, I knew she was going to a festival in the town and she had permission to stay at the friends rather than taking the bus home thru the city late at night.
    Dev ended up getting absolutely incapacitated drunk, passing out in the street. The cops saw her go down, had been watching her, realizing that she was drunk. They called the ambulance, then me and I met her at the er.
    She was pretty close to alcoholc poisoning, and was kept in overnight. What a way to face your first hangover:sad: But as I said, that part is being dealt with, our dr is the family practice unit in the same teaching hospital.....
    This is the part that I'm going crazy about....
    The parent whos place she was staying at :mad:bought the liquor for the girls, her daughter is almost 16, Dev is 15 next week. Then she poured straight vodka into drinking bottles for the girls to take and let them go out into public. :mad: I had the cop who'd been there call me back, because I want to hang this women . He said that there was really nothing that she could be charged with, that I could make my feelings clear to her etc. :mad: BUT THERE WAS NOTHING THAT THEY/HE WOULD TAKE FURTHER.......:mad::mad:I could not , can not accept this in any possible way. He did agree that it was immoral, etc and that he would also be infuriated. I'm phoning the central police station today to speak to supervisors etc to double check this. We hear all the time about ppl getting charged with endangering life of a minor, providing liquor to a minor etc and I'm not letting this drop in any way. And sure as hell if the tables were turned, I'd be cooling my ass in jail. I am so fucking insanely angry that I'm calm. I spoke to the other parent and it was clear that this was not unusual or upsetting in her world. Well her fucking world is going to get rocked.
    I am also planning to file a official complaint with the Childrens Aid Society, to have her investigated. I'm so agitated right now that I'm pacing in between every few sentences and chain smoking.
    The dr at er told me that if Dev hadnt puked her guts out as well as being about 25 lbs overweight , , that the outcome may have been much worse.
    I have always been so non-judgemental about others lives, reasoning that there are always underlying factors etc etc. and cutting ppl slack.


    Again I want to stress that I recognize that this is an indicator of Devs state of mind and we are dealing with it.
    My ex simply said Be sure your glass house is rock-proof and be prepared for any retaliation. But that' he'd be right beside me.
    On a wry note, I have no tolerance for others hangovers, we came back from the er on the bus system in 30c/90f degree weather, and she suffered all the way. Her dad is a fully functioning alcoholic and is meaner than hell if someone tries to whine about being hungover so he wasn't easy on her all day.
    Each time I get this off my chest, it makes me colder and more determined, when I take the necessary steps here, it will be calmly coldy purposefully.
  2. kittyD

    kittyD Well-Known Member

    An update: I spoke to another cop who is scouring the books for me to see what can possibly done. I have left a message with the youth office of the cops for a call back tomorrow. I do understand that filing charges and taking it all the way to a conviction are horses of a different color. He did agree that contacting Cas is another way of making sure that there are some legal/official ramifications to the situation. The fact that Dev ended in er gives weight to a charge of child endangerment. So now I wait til tomorrow til I get more info.
    I am making sure that I just don't go off half-cocked and have this simply becoming a yelling match between two parents.
  3. MeT

    MeT Guest

    If the cops prove 'useless' it would be a good way to get 'revenge' buy sueing for medical and emotional costs, do you have free legal consultation or some lawyers you can put your case to them for free. Something like that, but I would think it would be illegal to provide alcohol to a minor..which she did.
  4. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    Yes I cant see why you wouldn't win a civil case for negligence.
  5. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    In the U.S., we have a crime called "contributing to the delinquency of a minor". It sounds like you probably don't have that over there, but if you do, it definitely fits the situation.
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Also..is there Child Protective Services, so that your daughter's friend is kept safe??? big hugs, J
  7. kittyD

    kittyD Well-Known Member

    We do have the same kind of laws re endangering minors, providing alcohol, etc. The cops felt that it would be so very difficult to convict that it would be pointless to charge her. But I'm not accepting that, there will be a way to get to her.
    Ours is called Childrens Aid Society, and I'm filing with them this aft.
  8. mdancey

    mdancey Member

    Gee wiz Kitty......I thought for sure it was against the law to provide minors with liqueur. We can be charged with selling them or providing tobacco so why not liqueur? Does not make any sense. I hope you make some headway. Why the hell would a mother give adolescents vodka? Be sure to nominate her for the 'loser mother of year' award. :)

    So how is Devon feeling today? I do feel bad for her.....no one likes to feel like that. How are you?

  9. kittyD

    kittyD Well-Known Member

    Apparently the po-lice don't like to file charges that can't be convicted, but I'm still looking into it. As for filing with the cas, I'm waiting til Dev gets her stuff back, its an hour bus ride each way and I'd be steaming by the time I got there and blow my stack.
    Someone sent her a pic of her puking on the ground and she was pretty startled. She had a very quiet b-day on sat and got to see some friends sat.
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