Uncertain About Life and Suicide

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ladygrace, Jun 8, 2015.

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  1. Ladygrace

    Ladygrace Active Member

    This year i have really struggled with the long periods of being down and feeling really suicidal, Trying for help so far has been a really long dragged out process due to issues with my doc/therapist i was given at the first meeting.
    So it has been close to almost 3 months with no support now dude to my letter of request to get a new therapist, which was denied the first time through and was never notified (Took 2 weeks to find it out) where i had to go in and request a meeting. I have been repeatedly asked what they can do to help me, i am unsure of what they can offer for me at all as i have been messed around with so much i no longer care about anything. But i finally have a meeting this Friday coming where my mum is to come and i am somewhat scared because my mum has no clue what has been happening with me.

    So over these few months i couldn't care about anything anymore, all i think about is when will i die. My class attendance has drops a bit as i tend to skip a few hours some mornings due to be tired (I dont know if i am depressed much or not) i have been skipping classes on Fridays which are voluntary and i have been failing to complete assignments on time or complete any work. I have started drinking every few nights now to give me something to do and to help me sleep since i dont sleep very well. My Dreams don't have anything in them anymore but me being alone and when i am awake it still feels like i am in a dream.

    I have no clue what to do with my life and every time i am happy, i become more acceptable to wanting to commit suicide and brings a smile to my face knowing that i will soon be dead. My meds run out tomorrow so i will have 3 days without medications so i cant get any until the meeting on friday. I missed them for one day this week and i become a complete wreck to where i ordered a method. In the end i am just tired of living this lie of a life and want to end it all so i can finally be at peace. Sorry if none of this makes any sense as i write what is on my mind at this current time.

    Life has some positives but death has over whelming positives at my current point.
     
  2. Northern

    Northern SF Supporter

    Hi lady,

    Pharmacist are allowed to give you meds even if your prescription is no longer good. And if the pharmacist refuse to do so, just go to the emergency room with your old prescription.

    It's not bad that your mom will know. Familly support can help!


    Good luck :hug:
     
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